This Halloween

Well, I’m very excited about Halloween. It is that one special day, where all closeted gay men can dress up skanky outfit, wear beautiful blooming wigs, body covered with sh*t loads of glitter, and put on sexy smoky eye shadows. They can walk in public without having to worry about being called a “fag.” For gay men who are not into being divine and glamorous, they expose their body from head to toe. Well, not quite naked, I have seen guys running around wearing only a piece of leave and a pair of angel wings.

So, this year, what am I going to dress up as? I mean, I have done the cowboy thing, the karate kid, baseball player, Mariah Scary, and Jennifer Lo’ass. What exactly am I going to dress up as this year?

The truth is, I’m not dressing up. I’m going to spend some quality time with my dog, celebrating his 15th Birthday. And then, probably watch TV…

If I can dress up without having to worry about the budget… I’d love to dress up as a blueberry muffin. I don’t know, I have a thing for food. Oh, well, if I do end up dressing up, I will take lots of pictures and post them on the net. (Drag?! Nah, been there done that, time to do something that will make me feel like a man... Like wax my legs or something… Oh yeah! I can dress up as Nad's!!!)

Eye Candy of the Day

Mark Dacascos


What can I say about this Hot Karate Hawaiian babe? Some of you may remember him as the handsome evil guy from the movie Cradle 2 the Grave, or the cute innocent-looking kung-fu boy from the dreadful Double-Dragon… Or even, you don’t even know this hunk exists in the world of entertainment. Mark is definitely one of the underrated actors that never had the chance to really make a break though. He has worked in films for from US and Asia. I mean, he can really consider himself as an International Movie start. I has a crush on him when I saw his cameo in the video game, Wing Commander IV, back in 1996. (The cute cute cute Troy Carter) But I never really look into who this handsome beautiful man was… I got a bit carried away in playing the game. To me, he was just a random eye-candy that pops up once in a while. It was not until his character in Cradle 2 the Grave brought back those fantasies… Uh… Memories of him back into my head.

My, it has been a long time since I see him appearing on silver screen playing a major role. Glad that he has been around more and given more promising roles.

*sigh* I can never resist the charm from a dark hair dark eyes handsome fellal like him... Especially he knows martial arts! Oh my gosh! What a turn on!!! OH MARK BABY! I WANT YOU!!!

Food Place of the Day

Republic Restaurant/Bar/Noodles
37 Union Square West
New York City, NY 10003
Tel: 212-627-7172

So, it has been how long since I did a restaurant review? Too Long! I mean, it has been so long, that my favorite 1 dollar hot dog booth has migrated to another location that I couldn’t find. (No more Hoe Dog lunch for me…)

Republic, a restaurant that sits among other unique competitions in the ever-so-crowded Union Square.

Since I have always been a fan of dry noodles , that I ordered the Chicken Udon – It is basically regular Japanese udon mixed with Spinach & Coconut Milk sauce. (Yeah. Weird. I know. ) It is served semi-warm with chopped chicken and veggies. And you know what? I Love it. I love it and love it and love it and will probably not order it again. Since it cost me freakin’ 8 dollars. I mean, 8 dollars for a bowl of noodle. I can get more for 3 bucks at China town. So, it was more of a once-in-a-life-time deal. Not unless someone take me to that restaurant again and offer to buy me 5 bowls of those. (Just Kidding)

On the website, the photos of the restaurant interior look really bright. But in reality. It is not. My sister, Male Love Bird, and I went to Republic approx. at 7:15 PM. It was dark enough outside, but the moment I stepped into the restaurant, I felt like I was about the faint. Because the inside is even darker than the outside. My eyes couldn’t adjust to the sudden change of light, so I stepped in to the restaurant with great caution. But at the moment I saw the extremely pretty-faced-nice-body-hot-sexy-and-dreamy host dude, my eyes started to regain their focus. And of course, the focus was on him. Everyone else was just black blahs.

We sat on the table that is located right at the center of the common area. And the more exciting part was, there were no lights above our table. So, our source of light really depend on the neighboring lights.
But still, there were enough lights that would make the menu-reading easier. (Since it was a full house, there weren’t any other seats available)

Around 8 PM. The Lights inside of the restaurant got darker. Make it even harder to see what exactly I was eating. And the lights got darker and darker and darker….But oh well, the food was great.

The Good: Unique and yummy food.
The Bad: If you don’t have your own infrared eye goggle, then you are doomed to go blind.

It’s Friday

I woke up this morning at 6:00 Am. Then I went back to sleep.

At 6:35 AM, my eye lids popped open.

“OH SH*T! I’m gonna be late!”

I flipped my body off of the bed, and landed on the balls of my feet. Gracefully, I finished off the entire routine with an oriental style gesture. (I know what you are thinking. No. I’m not dressing up as a fairy for Halloween!)

Even though I had a late start, but I managed to get to work on time. All I had to do, is to skip my shower. (No. Don’t think about ‘Eeeewwwww’ – I used a lot of cologne this morning. I smell good. You can’t even tell that I didn’t take shower.)

So, anyway, here is the deal.

Thank gawd it’s Friday. It has been a very stressful week. Stress from all directions. Mentally, I was feeling a little fragile, and some what, a little depressed. (Kids, remember, when you feel very depressed, slap yourself 30 times with your shoe, and look in to the mirror. And pray that all these depress feeling did not create any lines on your face. ) But it’s Friday. Finally. I felt better, in a way. I’m so looking forward to sleep and wake up on Saturday late afternoon. (Oink Oink)

But something happened at work today. Even know, my heart trembles when I think about it.

Something really bad. I mean, something like this shouldn’t have often.. Especially at work.

I totally didn’t’ expect this to happen… I wish I can turn back the time… But it is too late…

No, no one found out that I didn’t take a shower, nor I smell like a dead fish.

And no, I did wear my underwear to work.

You know what happened?

I mean, this thing is so awful and dreadful… I’m sure that I’ll remember this for the rest of my life….

I can’t believe this happened to me…

I mean, why me? Why?!

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT MY CO-WORKER SAW ME FLOSSING MY TEETH!

This is one thing that I hate, after the big boss re-arrangement our placement. All of us used to be gathered all over the place. But now, we are consolidated in one area on the floor. Before, we have to call each other using the ever-so-disgusting company phone,. But now, everyone can just stand up and talk to each other.

Well, that is what happened.

I was flossing my teeth with this painful think RADIUS silk floss (I should write a product review on this floss. This thing makes you BLEED. I mean, it is so thick that you can tie a person up with it…. Hrm… Tie up by dental floss…. Kinky…). Then all of the sudden, the girl in the cubical next to mine stood up.

“Wayne…”

And I was in the middling of pulling the thick silk floss back and forth between my teeth.

I looked at her.

She looked at me.

There was a 2 second silence.

And I think she saw the blood stain on the ‘used’ portion of the floss.

I blinked my eyes.

She blinked.

Then all of the sudden, she opened her lips.

“Hi Wayne. Good Morning. Uh, I forgot what I was going to ask you.”

Then she sat back down.

I blinked.

Then I resume my dental work.

What a glamorous way to start a Friday morning, don’t you think?


Cell Phone Pic taken this morning.

Become a God or Goddess. by zerogirl
Name:
God/Goddess of	Celebration
Element:	Fire
Animal Companion:	Lion
Weak against	Food
Weapon:	Foil
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Fire Element?! Lion?! Wow, this is making me way too butch! Heh. Hrm, Weak against food... I guess so, especially when my tummy is still acting funny... Too much food will kill me instantly.

Clarification

As of July 12, 2003 – I have been seeing a guy that I adore so much to the point that I can pee in my pants anytime. How we met? Well, Internet, of course.

When we first met, we were expecting just be friends. But who ever knew the chemistry between us had the right formula, and we clicked right away.

Aside from the physical attraction, I find his background pretty similar to mine. Mainly that he is also in the closet, and very understanding about my situation. There are not a lot of people that I can relate to, in terms of thinking process, culture and values in life.

I like him. I like him a lot. I really do.

Without wanting to go though the drama that I went though with my past relationships, I kept a thin wall between myself and him.

I’ve never consider us in a relationship. I call it “seeing.” I didn’t want to get attach too fast, since I’m a very easily attached person. Even when he first told me that he loves me, I told him that it has only been a couple months, and it is too early in the stage to say that.

What is love? I asked. Even I don’t know the answer to that. All I know, that it is a word, that should be used seriously.

Since everyone has a different definition for ‘love’ – some might take it more seriously than others. I have hurt someone dearly with the wrong usage of this word. I said “I Love You” without any thoughts about it. Without any confirmation of how I feel about this him. It shattered my ex-Bf #2’s heart into million pieces, and has left him a permanent scar in his memory. And I don’t want history to repeat itself.

To me, when the times comes, Love will come out of my lips naturally.

We have talked about lots of things. I have also let him acknowledge the fact, that most likely one day, I will return to California. Because that is where I call home. Him too, been constantly looking for a new job, that he is willing and ready to go any where the job takes him. Especially he has been looking into governmental jobs… Where most of the available jobs are outside of New York.
When we first met, I have specify that I’m ultimately looking for a long term relationship. Yet, my currently living situation really made this difficult. Just let him know ahead of time, that could happen in the future. Yet, things will probably change. I mean, future is unpredictable and filled with surprises, right?

What ever happens, let it happen. Just enjoy each other’s company, day by day, week by week.

Just 2 weeks ago, I was approached by a very good looking guy (Italian, I think – I’ve never asked) asking me out. I mean, this guy is tall, dark hair, dark eyes… Just around my height and… I mean, physically, he’s very attractive. Someone that I would considerate going out on a date with. But I take a look at Paw’s picture in my cell phone, and then told him that I’m already seeing someone very special. (Besides, I don’t date multiple people at the same time, that’s just not me.)

At that point, I said to myself…”That’s my man.” And it is at that time, the thin wall that I built is no longer there.

I guess I have become more attached than I thought I would be.

This morning, we chatted over Instant Messenger, over me trying to stay from my sister’s personal life in terms of the her drama with the male love bird.
Then I mention how I would expect my family to stay away from my personal life as well. Especially after I came out to them. They will probably do everything and anything to set me up with a girl.
Then he popped the question.

Paw: Would you consider marrying?

Wayne: No. Well, yeah, but with a man, not a woman.

Paw: Have you ever dated a woman?

Wayne: I find women beautiful and physically attractive. But I’m not sexually attracted to them.

Paw: You never went out with a woman?

Wayne: Why would I want to date a woman, when I know I have no interests?

Paw: But have you tried?

Wayne: Would you eat a dish that you have never tried before, and have absolute no interest in eating? Just like scanning though the menu in a restaurant, when certain dish that just don’t caught your attention, or don’t fit what you are looking for, then you will never order it, right?

Paw: Okay. I get your point. Sorry that I asked.

Wayne: No need to be sorry. I’m just giving you a piece of my mind.

Paw: Okay.

I pulse for a couple seconds. Then I typed….

Wayne: Would you consider marrying?

Paw: Yes. I told you I had gf before.

At that point, I felt like an acid arrow had strike though my chest and deeply into my heart. The sense of sourness merges from my chest and up to my nose. For a second, I thought that my heart had skipped a beat, because it started to beat faster and faster.

I took a couple deep breaths, and let out the sourness out of my body.

Wayne: Gfs, you mean. You had more than one.

Paw: Yeah.

And this is the cue that I need to end the conversation.

Wayne: Phone, I’ve gotta go. Ttyl!

Paw: Bye bye. Ttyl.

Then I closed my AIM. I wasn’t sure how I can continue to carry a text - conversation with him, without starting to ask him…

“What about me?”

“What about us?”

“What’s the purpose of us seeing each other, when you know you will marry a woman and have kids?”

At least, not today. Not now. Not online. I need sometime to think it over.

It’s funny. Just couple days ago, after so many things happened to my internet friends…. Then family… My sister and her boyfriend… I have been expecting something to happen to me.

Maybe this is it.

Or I'm thinking too much.

We've never talked about this being a long term relationship anyway, why am I feeling this way?

Bar in Motion

I have been living in New York for 11 months now. And I have never been in such a strange situation until last night.

Yes. Last Night.

It was just, weird.

So, last night, I stayed at work until 7:00 PM and was able to rush to Penn Station to catch the 7:22 PM train back to Long Island.

Believe me, I was having one of my “O-I-Feel-Suh-Sick” days. Yes. I was feeling really sick since 10:00 AM. My stomach was acting funny, considered that I took the medication already, and my head was BUZZING like there’s no tomorrow. Well, not really hearing “BUZZ” or something like that. Just that I was having a very bad headache and experiencing dizziness at the same time. (Yes. I had breakfast, Egg & Ham Omelet, to be exact.) And I constantly have the feeling of vomiting. (Oh my, I’m gonna be a mom soon?!)

I had to stay 2 hours over time, just to finish one of the documents that my manger requested. So, there wasn’t much of a choice, but to put up and deal with it.

So, I went down to ‘dock’ #21, where the train departs.

Well, by the time I went down, the train had already arrived, and most of the seats were taken. (I usually like to sit at the spot where I can lean my shoulder against the window and nap) So, I walked from one cart to the next.

As soon as I stepped in to a cart, probably the 4th or the 5th, I noticed a big difference.

This cart is LOUD.

I mean, everyone was talking. As if, they just came out of a big company party.

Then I saw the Alcohol vender.

The alcohol vender that are commonly found on train stations is actually on the train. The vending cart is placed right between the spot where it is usually reserved for the passenger on wheelchair. This has got to be the biggest discovery since I start taking LIRR.

As I walk down the walkway, the smell of alcohol rushed up against my face. With every step I take, random words from people’s conversation knocked on my ear drums.

“And then he..”

“Totally, do you that…”

“Oh Sh*t, I “

“Ha ha ha ha…”

“Figure out how that works. But”

There were laughers… Sharp giggles… and loud voice from some drunk men.

I felt like I was the Vampire Elder Amelia, from the movie Under World, walking down the train ale in the awesome heavy dress as the Werewolves were biting people’s head off….Noise and blood all over the place. (Well, in this case, it was me walking down among the mixture of super loud chatty laughers with high level of alcohol in the air, wearing my heavy coat, carrying a plastic Duane Reade bag in my hand. Less glamorous, I’d say.)



With each step, I have to keep myself from falling on the ground.

I felt so dizzy.

I wanted to vomit so bad.

Then I spot an empty seating. I quickly moved my tired butt onto the seat and lean against the back.

Ah…..

As I regain the energy in my body, I opened my semi-opened eyes a little wider to take a better look of the environment.

I felt like I’m in some kind of lounge. People standing around the “bar,” by the doors, walking back and forth on the ale. Everyone was having a good time.

Except me.

There was a group of people, gathering around the corn opposite of the vender. They had a cardboard table (basically, someone must have opened the cardboard box what used to be a box, and use it as a table) with card on it.

Drunk people playing cards.

Great.

Men, holding onto the handles with one hand, and a cup of beer in the other. Chatting at the entrance section.

Drunk people blocking the exit.

Great.

Just coupe of seats in front of me, sat an old man.

Then a woman came.

“Hey You!” said the woman, holding a cup of some clear-looking drink.

The old man moved out and let the woman in.

I was expecting the old man to sit back down, but instead, he stood there.

Then I saw the woman’s lips moving. Follow by the old man’s lips.

Okay , they were talking. But it was so noisy, that I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about.

All of the sudden, the old man turned his back toward me, and walked to the vender.

He came back with a bottle of beer in his hand and start chatting with the woman.

Then the gentleman who sat in front of me stood up. Walked to the vender, and came back with a bottle of beer in his hand.

The Latino guy who sat behind me, got up, and went to the vender and returned with two bottles of beer in his hand. (that is when I noticed that there were two people sitting behind me, not just one)

The some-what cute guy who sat on the other side of the walk way stood up. He had 3 empty Bud Light cans in his hand. And his friend who was sitting on the window seat got up, walked out, and went to the vender. He came back with 2 cups of some yellow-ish liquid. One for him, and one for the some-what cute guy. The some-what cute guy sat back down, and placed the three 3 empty cans on the floor, next to his foot.

Then the door connected to the other cart popped open. Two men in jeans walked in and head toward the vender. They came back (where I get to see their rough-edged but HOT face) holding bottles of beers in each of their hands.

Followed by the two men, a lady in suit, probably in her mid-40s, went up to the vender and got herself a cup of some white-milky looking liquid. (Pina Colata?)

Everyone in this cart seemed to have either some mixed drink or beer in their hand.

Except me.

So, I got up, trying to maintain my balance and walked down the walk way.

I raised my head high and brush though the people who were standing on the ale.

Then I walked out of the cart. (Oh, did I mention that the train arrived my station?)

Fresh cold air filled my brain with air that I have been lusting for during the train ride.

As the train pulls away, I glanced back and saw people walking around with beer in their hand, in the carts before and after the alcohol central.

It was an interesting experience. For a sec, I thought I was dreaming…

And the most amazing thing is… No one spilled any drinks on the floor. At least, in the cart that I rode, the floor was as dry as a new sheet of toilet paper.

There are so many entries that I have started to write, but never was able to finish. I’m not even sure if I should.

I have told some people that I will write about my love life, my past relationships, first attempt of coming out of the closet, the drama that’s happening between my two best-close friends, or even, the emotional-driven situation that happened to the people I know.

I have them, all saved in the hard drive. Each one of them are only 15% completed. Yep. I have done the intro paragraph for each of them. But when I start to get into the juicy part, my fingers would stop typing, and my eyes would focus blankly on the screen.

I couldn’t figure out exactly how I should approach in describing the experiences that have made me the way I am today.

Ever since that one time, I wrote about my grandma, the process of re-living and experiencing the emotion that I went though, really affected my mood for the entire day.
(Wow, I’m such an emotional, affectionate and passionate person. I mean, I’m about to gross myself out here.)

I guess I can’t really keep my words.

Anyway, just a random blah.

Dance with me, on Subway

As part of my habit, whenever I’m on the subway, I’d stay as close to the doors as possible. Mainly due to the fact, that when something happens, I can just ran out in a S-N-A-P. But of course, if the train is crowded with people, then I’d move in to make more for the people.

Maybe because it was rather early in the morning, there weren’t a lot of people coming on the (2) train. I happily hopped onto my dearest (2) train and wrap my right hand around the pole that is right in front of the doors. Maintain my gentle yet elegant posture, that I rode in the trembling train as if I’m doing my figure skating long program.

Smile! Yes. I must maintain my smile!

Balance! Yes. I must maintain my balance!

Custom! Yes.. . I must keep the wrinkles away from my suit!

Totally like a super model wanna-be, I stood facing the doors dreaming about how one day, I’ll become an action movie star… I’d be international known… Lots of people chasing after me for my autograph… and sell them on eBay…

When the train stopped at the next exit, an African American lady stepped in. She’s around 5’6, and weights…. Uh…. I dunno how much she weights. (400+ lbs?) Ahem, there is nothing wrong with her size. I mean, she looked nice. In her black stretch pants (Express?) and orange / pink floral long sleeves shirt, and black polyester jacket.

All of the sudden, I felt an intense pulse vibrating from the bottom of the pole to the center of my palm. The lady has placed her hand firmly under mine. She too, grabbed onto the pole.

A few more people made their way into the (2) train just before the doors snapped back into place. As the train started to move, the lady remained motionless. After a couple minutes, I started to feel certain force pressing against my left side of the body.

This lady is pushing me with her weight.

My initial thought was that the train must be giving her a rough ride, she couldn’t maintain her balance. Just to test how rough the train is, I threw off my balance and let my body move along the rhythm of the train.

Aside from the pressure from the lady, I stood pretty still in the train.

Okay, so the ride wasn’t rough. As I thought to myself.

Then what is this lady’s problem?

Slowly she did, she moved her body toward me. Yet, her face was facing the other direction.

Uh… Is she trying to TOUCH me like what I think she is DOING?

But again, She’s not touching me at the places that should be touched. I mean, in terms of sexual-harassment.

So, what does she want?

Ah.

Damn b*tch, you are trying to take over my spot!

I grabbed firmly onto the pole with both of my hands.

I leaned forward to make sure that there are only 1 inch space between the pole and my chest.

Along with the ups and downs in the train, I swing my body back and forth while centering on the pole.

I was like a go-go pole dancer from the hottest Gentlemen’s Club in town. Turning and twist my body to secure my space around the pole.

Yeah baby, watch me! See this?! See this?!

Can you dance like this?!

Can you move like that?!

Lady, Back off, this pole is mine! Mine!! All Mine!!!

I start to picture myself, as Naomi from the movie, Show Girls, working the pole. (Except I was wearing suit)



Then all of the sudden, the lady slammed her butt toward my direction.

Crap!

I let go of my hands.

I had to back off. I mean, I don’t want to touch that thing. I mean, I don’t want to be near it. Period.

I backed up until my back is press firmly against another passengers in the train.

“I’m sorry, I lost my balance.”

The gentlemen gave me a nod and a smile, then turned his face.

So, I have lost my spot to the lady.

I mean, she didn’t even give me the chance to do my ultimate finishing move…”Licky Licky.” (See picture demonstration below)



But again, I might die from poison.

Oh well. She can have that spot.

With my back leaning against an okay-looking guy, I shouldn’t complain too much. I mean, it was better than having my body firmly pressed against that woman’s butt.

Post Office Eye-Tango

Yesterday, I was at the postal office during my lunch time. Sending a belated Birthday card to a dear friend of mine in California. (TWO WEEKS LATE! OH MY GAWD… Oh well, at least I remembered it during my morning shower.) It was about 1:25 in the afternoon, and the line was HUGE. I mean, I have never seen such a LONG line in the post office in the afternoon. (It is usually packed around noon, but never packed after 1 PM) I guess it was my lucky day, to stand and wait and totally waste my precious time when I can go back to my desk, check my emails, and read blogs.

I walked to the end of the line, which, there were probably 37 people in front of me.

“This is going to be a long wait.” I said to myself as I rolled my eyes.

So, what do you normally do when you are stuck in a very long line, you know for sure that you will spent at least 30 minutes until you reach the counter?

For me, I was desperately seeking some Eye Candies to keep my mind busy. I mean, what else can I do? Since I don’t have a computer with me, I can’t work on my project. (Ha, like I’m gonna do that.) I could have call someone using my cell phone, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about hot steamy sexy wet wet wet instant noodles while there are people around me.

I quickly scanned though all the people in the post office. Of all 37 people in line, none of them I find attractive. I mean, I didn’t even have the slightest interests in starring at their face for more than 2 seconds. (wow, I’m so stuck up) They were no eye candies. They were just not-so-pretty-strangers who are waiting in line with me. Then I turned my head, at where the “Customer Pick-up” counter is located. And BLING! Two attractive men at the counter.

Finally, eye candies… But they are SO FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR away. I mean, why?! Who in the world designed this post office, that the package pick-up area is so damn far away from the waiting line? I mean, if they can be a little closer.. just a little closer.. So I can get a better look at them….

Sigh

But anyway. The two hunks in semi-formal clothes were too far away… And they had their back turned facing me.

Sux.

So, my eyes wondered around, hoping that there will be more eye candies coming into the post office.

Within the next 15 minutes, there were already 10 people waiting behind me. And again, none of them were eye-candy materials. (Oh, by all means, they are just not my type, you know. I mean, I won’t even strip for them for 2 bucks. But if you are willing to pay $300.00… then we can discuss more about it…)

Then all the sudden. A NYPD Canine hot boy came into the post office. In his hands, he was holding a stack of envelopes.

Inside, my heart was screaming “Oh yeah baby! Come to Uncle Wayne!”

What a cutie! He is all in the uniform, with a gun wrapped around his right thigh. Wearing a dark blue jacket with “NYPD CANINE” logo on the back, and a pair of those awesome black battle boots. He’s about 5’9, dark brown hair, dark green eyes, and cute thick eye brows… UH UH!!

That stack of envelopes will make him wait just as long as myself in the same line.

But, he took a glance over at our direction. Stood in place for about 2 seconds, then he turned his body toward the Stamp vending machine behind him.

ARGH! Why do cute guys always turned away from me?!?!?!

So, it was me, watching the NYPD Canine HOT boy inserting the bills in the vending machine. Then he got the stamps. And then walk over to the OTHER side of the pole and start putting stamps on the envelopes. I mean, why would he walked to the OTHER side of the pole? I couldn’t see any parts of him.

Sux.

After a good 26 minutes wait (Yep. It went faster than I expected) I finally send out that belated Birthday care. Returned to my office. And found out that I missed a meeting that I was suppose to attend.

Sux.

Jai: Culture Vulture


Which Member from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is your type?
brought to you by Quizilla

But mommy, I want Kyan....

Baby Powder

It’s a wonderful beautiful totally bitchin’ Tuesday morning here at work. I came to my cubical at the usual regular time. Following the every day routine, I took off my jacket, put my bag at the corner, turn on the monitor, the computer, the printer, and then press on the “Play Message” button on the company phone.

Since my last break-out with the stomach problem… Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, that my Primary Care Physician is not cute at all. As a matter of fact, I was almost in tears when he asked me to take off my clothes and put on that thin Hospital examination patient clothes. Can you imagine how I feel when he ran his hands up and down my chest and then my back and then press up and down on my tummy and thigh?!

“Does it hurt?”

“No.” (Little does he know, it hurts me… Mentally)

“Does this hurt?”

“No.” (And I was crying inside)

“How about here?”

“No.” (Help me Help me!)

“Okay, stand up.”

“Okay.”

“Lift the lower part up. I’ll have to check your pelvis.”

“What?”

Then he put his hand on my pelvis and pressed hard.

“Okay, no hard spots. You are fine.”

“Okay.” (*#$&*!&$!#%&*!&%*&%*#%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Damn. If my PCP looks like Doctor Kevin (The Dentist who did my root canal), I’d bare all and he can do anything and everything to me… Unless if it is really kinky. But again, with Doctor Kevin, I don’t mind being adventurous with him.

Uh, Oops. Sorry, I got side-tracked. Let me get back to the real story here.

Since my last break-out with the stomach problem, I stopped drinking coffee. (Well, not totally stopped drinking coffee… I had a cup of coffee within the last 3 months. And it was one of those Iced Coffee + Tea Milk Boba drink.) I have replaced my morning drink with Green Tea. As suggested by the Company Nurse, that it will benefit my body more than over dosing myself with caffeine.

So, I made myself two cups of Green Tea. Sat down in front of my computer and start checking my emails and stuff…. Then all of the sudden. I heard some noise.

PPPPSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTT.

PPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT.

My Co-Workers and myself, including whoever works around this cubical area, know what that sound meant.

Someone has just spread the Air Refresh-ner.

It can only meant one thing.

Someone farted.

Whoever is praying that damn can, farted.

The scent of heavy baby powder invaded my cubical within 15 seconds after the spraying action.

I couldn’t possible drink my cup of tea. The smell was so strong, that it made my feel dizzy.

Not just the strong baby powder aroma that made my stomach upset, but also the fact, that the smell also contain the gas from a 61 years old woman.

I stood up. With the cup in my hand, I walked toward the company kitchen. Pretending that I went to re-fill the hot water. Then as soon as I stepped into the kitchen, I saw my sister standing there with another co-worker of mine.

We all had a weird smirk on our face.

The company kitchen has became a sacred place for us.

It was there, where we can find peace when the baby powder attacks.

I got this in the email

I don't usually do this, but I got this 'chain' email today and thought the story is.... good. I mean. good, in a way that I like it. Without further blahings, here it is.

You choose

READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood." Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices.

When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone
through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'." Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. For some of us this attitude is difficult to acquire. However, it sure makes life more enjoyable. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You have two choices now:

1. Delete this.

2. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made

Well, I didn't forward this to anyone. I post it so whoever stumble onto the blog site can read it. Remember, Attitude, it is everything. *Snap* *Swings the head* *Snap* *Snap* *Shakes the hip*

Toilet Tale

One thing about the company restroom is, you get to bump into your co workers. I don’t know about you, but for me, when I’m doing my little private things (You know. Pee, Poo, and sometimes, washing my face with my anti-zit and oil reducing facial cleanser), I don’t like to have my co-workers around. I don’t want them to see me doing stuff that I consider personal.

Sometimes, I just don’t get it. I have had times that I went to the restroom, just to wash the stain off my shirt (coffee stains, okay? nothing else!), then I hear two guys, talking about work… While they are in their own stall. I mean, wouldn’t you feel embarrassed if your boss is in the restroom and you happened to stink up the entire restroom with Poo aroma. And the boss asked….”Oh, by the way, Wayne, please print a copy of the report and put it on my desk.”

I mean, how would you feel?! I mean, how can those two guys be talking business while inhaling each other’s Poo air?!

Whenever I’m in the stall, I always kept quiet, and try not to let anyone know that I’m in side. I’d lower my head so the TALL people will not be able to get a glance of my hair when they walk pass the stalls.

Anyway. I had a my cereal with low fat milk, yogurt, mini-blueberry muffin, and grapes this morning. (Weird. I ate so much…) As you might have guessed. My tummy was screaming…”Release me!! Release Me!!! Hurry!!!”

I quickly stood up, maintain my posture, and walk from my desk toward the hall way. And out the door to the restroom. (Never, NEVER run when you head to the restroom, cause everyone would know that you have to take a dump BAD)

There are two double doors that the employee has to go though, before entering the actual restroom. After I unlocked and entered though the first door, I heard a bunch of noise.

“OH MY GAWD. The Men’s Room is BUSY this morning. Damn people.” I said to myself.

It reminded me, how sometimes people would stay in the restroom and chat and chat and chat and chat and totally chat and waste company time. Especially when I was waiting for everyone to leave the restroom before I can come out of my stall. About 3 days ago, I waited for 10 minutes in the stall until the restroom is clear. Argh!

So, I was debating if I should just charge in the restroom, and grab the oil-absorbing seat covers and head into the stall in front of everyone in there. I can already picture Steve would say “Hey Wayne, what’s the hurry? Had bad food?” or “What you had last night? Did you swallow a whole cow?!”

And what if I farted really loud? Chris would probably said…”Damn, that was a loud one! What you had? Mexican food?”

What if the restroom got really smelly?

The worst is, if the Poo are one of those… WET ones… plus internal gas…. There WILL be noises when my body de-toxic itself…..”Damn Wayne, you are a loud one!! Oh, Man!! Wet too!! Nasty!!”

I’d be feeling so embarrassed. And since people on my floor got nothing better to do other than chatting and spread rumor…. People in the entire floor would know that I had a wet nasty one in the morning. My nickname will probably be "Wet-Poo" or something like that.

Standing in front of the 2nd entrance door, I waited a little. The noise continues to echo and filled the restroom. I didn’t know what I should do.

“Crap!”

I took a deep breath, raised my chin up, and pushed the 2nd door open and stepped in.

3 sinks with running water and no one else.

NO ONE ELSE.

Someone purposely turned on the taps to waste all those precious water.

I mean, precious New York tap water.

I thought I’m the second youngest person in the company. Who would be so damn immature and childish to do such thing? (The youngest person is a girl, she can’t get into the men’s room.)

I mean, whoever did this… Made me stood in between the restroom doors…And went though chaotic emotion struggles…

Argh.

Anyway. The restroom was empty. So, I was safe.

And no. it wasn’t wet, and wasn’t loud. It was normal.

OH MY GOSH. MY CO WORKER JUST SAW ME PICKING MY NOSE!!!

I was doing that for a good 5 seconds, and she saw it all.

OH MY GAWD.

The Birth of a New Layout

Eeek, what's with the color?! Well, this is the Beta baby of my new layout. Which, I will use this as a base for any modification. Hrm, so, what do you guys think?

Here is the original size of the image I used on the upper left hand corner, incase you wonder what those Green Dots are.

The Pretty Pills

I went to the company Doctor last Thursday. Since, most likely, my primary care physician will send me to a specialist, I might well get a referral from the company doctor, and then get on the ‘waiting list’ for the specialist early. I mean, I have already been waiting for about a month to see my primary care physician, who knows how long it will take for me to finally get to the specialist.

Anyway, it turned out, that the handsome Italian company Doctor cannot refer me to any specialist. Only the PCP (Primary Care Physician) can do that. Oh well, too bad. But at least, I get to meet the handsome Italian company Doctor.

Oh, status? Sure!

Let me see, I think he’s around mid 30’s, about 5’8, 160-165 lbs, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and dark brown beard around the edge of his face and his lips. He also has broad shoulders and nice strong arms. He really reminded me of the cover model on one of those Just For Men hair coloring products.

But not my type.

Anyway, that coolest thing is, he told me what his assumption is, and this is a re-occurrence of the problem that happened to me, twice in the past. (Yep, I just remembered the same happened to me when I was in college!) He also tell me what I should tell my PCP in my discomfort description and health history. Before I leave his office, he gave me a little envelope. (damn, not his phone number?!) In the envelope, there were three royal purple colored pills.

“Samples. Take one 30 minutes before you eat anything. Continue to take these until you see your PCP.”

Yep. The pills are so pretty. So pretty, that I didn’t have the heart to finish them all.

Well, it’s Monday morning, and I ran out of the pills. Yep. I ate all of them during the weekend. When it comes to upset stomach, you eat whatever to make your tummy feel good.

Argh. Two more days until my appointment, and I need those pills. Ahhh…

I think I’ll go get the drugs during the lunch hour.

Wayne’s Problem

Thank you very much, for dropping me an email concerning my health problem. Sorry, I didn’t had the chance to reply to your email. I mean, I didn’t want to just write a 1-3 lines email back. That’s not really an email. Plus, lately, I have been really low on mental and physical energy, didn’t really have any drive to actually sit down, and write something that’s nice and long. (We all like them big, right? I mean, a good length-email. Yeah. That is what I meant.)

So, what exactly is the problem? Well, this has been going for more than two weeks now. And I’m still waiting for my doctor’s appointment, on next Wednesday, the 8th. This is not the first time, this happen to me. Well, at least, the illness felt pretty much the time. The same thing happened about 2.5 years ago, when I went to Taiwan to take care of my dad, who was having a surgery at the time.

Oh, what? Oh yeah, I’m suppose to tell you what the problem is. Well, it is about my stomach.

Tummy, if that is what you like me to refer it as. But yeah, my stomach has been having problems… So, what exactly is wrong with my stomach?

Hrm.

Have you ever felt that you want to throw up, yet, you have empty stomach?
Have you ever felt that you want to throw up, right after you drink water?
Have you ever felt that you want to throw up, right after you ate a fortune cookie?

Have you ever felt that something is burning in your stomach, after you ate something?

Have you ever felt that the acid in your stomach is about to spew out of your mouth, after you ate something?

Meep.

Aside from that, my stomach has been feeling very ‘stuffy’ lately. As if, I’m having major stomach flu, or things in my stomach are not being digest as the rate they are suppose to be.

2.5 weeks. 6 more days to wait.

I’m not feeling well.

I think I’m pregnant.



Nah. It’s probably tummy infection. Just like what I had 2.5 years ago. If it’s left untreated, it will become Ulcer. So, Doctor! Come! Make my tummy feel good! Damn it. (This will be the first time I see my Primary Care Physician in New York. I hope he’s cute)

Migration

Well, good news. Since the male love bird basically, lives with us. (He comes over 6 days a week, and pretty much, stayed over night) – that my sister, decided, it is time to get a new place.

Yes. New Place.

New Apartment, maybe.

The current STUDIO apartment is really causing us a lot of pain.

I mean, the two love birds cuddle on the singe-person bed, is a pain.

He's back is in pain.

Her's too.

Me, sleeping on the “2nd floor” – where there are basically ZERO air circulation, is a pain.

The two, can’t really show a lot of affection toward each other, because of my presence. Is a pain.

Me, waking up, took my shower, and unable to walk around in my underwear is a pain.

So, we are going to find a new place. In the same city, still on Long Island, and – move in.

Yes. We are. Finally.

Either I get the living room (if we get a 1 bed room apartment) or my own room (two bed rooms) – I’d be happy. I need my personal space, and this is probably the next best thing that will ever happen to me here in New York.

Hopefully, we will be able to find and move into the new place before the end of the year.

……………. Oh crap, we have to wait until our current contract expire first…………

argh.

Aye-Ya

Hrm, due to the massive amount of work, dead-lines, and my recent health problems, very few entries will be posted here....(Me suh buzy...) Hrm, also, I'm working on a new layout for this website...(yeah, this one is too BLUE for me.. plus the mini scroll bars... all over the place) --- Come back and visit the site after a week or so, for the new stuff! :)

Thanks!!!