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Changes Over Time

Like a self-loving moron that I am. I constantly update and change my photos on the internet. Yesterday, I was going through the archive of my past photos. (Well, more like, backing them up on a CD, and delete the old files) I opened up a photo of myself, that was taken in April of 2000.

Ah.

Then I opened up a photo that I took weeks ago.

Ah.

Same pose.

Then I place them side by side in PhotoShop.

Wow.

I look different. I mean, it’s me in the pictures, but the shape of my face is different. Not just the shape of my face, but also my nose, my eyes, and my cheeks. Even my lips look different.

My eyes have gotten a bit smaller, and the lines under my eyes are deeper now. Along the lines, it curved down around my nose to the edge of my lips. I can clearly see the lines that resemble old age. It is the same line, that I add, when I’m drawing an older person. The two lines. My lips have gotten smaller, and more curled up toward the center of my face… I know, that’s a strange description, but that’s how I see my lips.
The edge of my face used to be sharp, pointy. But now, it is more round, and… I think my chin has gone wider. Yeah, It got wider.

It has only been 3 years, but I definitely look different now.

I backup all the photos from the past and saved them on a disc. I deleted all the old images from my computer, to free up more space. On the disc, I wrote “Photo Collection, 1999-2003.” I placed it in my drawer among my other CDs.

I sighed.

Is it either the aging process or that I have gained weight, or even the combination of both. But clearly, my physical appearance have changed.

I’m not sure if I should feel good or bad about it. All I know is, I like how I looked in year 2000.

I stole this

Okay, I stole this from her blog....

FIRSTS

First best friend: Best Friend? As in, really close best Friend? Yeah, Danni.
First real memory of something: Me rolling down the steps in the lobby of Grand Hotel in Taipei.
First date: Real Date? Hrm, I went to my High School prom with a girl just to prove that I wasn’t gay. Did that count?
First real kiss: Ex-BF #1.
First break-up: Ex-BF #1. (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)
First job: Working at a campus cafeteria in college. (I did EVERYTHING there)
First screen name: WaterSea
First self purchased album: Paula Abdul, Forever Your Girl.
First funeral: The one that I remember… My grandfather’s.
First pets: My Doggie #1!!!!!! (Now I have Doggie #4, his English name is ELF)
First piercing/tattoo: Scratch-On tattoo when I was in College.
First credit card: The one that I’m currently using.
First true love: Aside from family and pets? Hrm… I’m not even sure exactly what LOVE should feel like.
First enemy: Myself.
First big trip: Paris.
First play/musical/performance: High School Production of Into the Woods.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Amy Grant's CD, House of Love.

LASTS

Last big car ride: New Jersey.
Last big bus ride: Oh wow, 2000. Shuttle bus in San Diego.
Last kiss: Paw, this past Saturday.
Last good cry: Sunday night, when I was watching the Taiwanese Golden Melody Award. Jackie Cheng was singing tribute songs to artists that passed away this year. (For no reason, my tears were pouring down my cheeks)
Last library book checked out: 1999, monologue books for my acting class.
Last movie seen: Murder by Numbers, on Cable TV.
Last beverage drank: Green Tea.
Last food consumed: Turkey Bacon with Red Pepper Omelet.
Last crush: Crush? Yeah, Frankie.
Last phone call: Sister at work.
Last TV show watched: The Weather channel.
Last time showered: This Morning.
Last shoes worn: My Boots.
Last CD played: “X” – Karen Mok.
Last item bought: Turkey Bacon with Red Pepper Omelet from the cafeteria at work.
Last annoyance: Fell asleep for 1 hour and 15 minutes during Friday’s meeting. That was pretty bad.
Last disappointment: Waiting up during last Friday’s meeting, knowing that I have again, was rude to the guests.
Last soda drank: Sometime in June, the Orange Soda at some fast food place. (I don’t usually drink sodas)
Last ice cream eaten: Sometime in July, at some Japanese Restaurant… Red Bean Ice Cream.
Last time wanting to die: Don’t remember. Trying not to remember.
Last shirt worn: My ivory color tank top that I wear to sleep.
Last website visited: Inside Her Mind….

Now that I took a look at the codes, I can...*grin*

Fist of Furry

Okay, sorry about lack of interesting posts on my blog lately. Work has been very stressful and every single one of my brain cells have been drained at the end of the day.

Today, I would like to take you back to the time when I was still a young innocent 9 years old boy. My memory may have failed me a bit, I will tried my best to include as much details as possible.

Setting:

Act 1 – Wayne’s Home.
Act 2 – Taipei National City Theatre.

Casts:

Dad
Mom
Sister
Wayne

Act I

Wayne: “MOM!”

Mom: “What?!”

Wayne: “I won free tickets to see ‘Little Crayon’s Adventure’ movie!”

Mom: “How many?”

Wayne: “Four!”

Mom: “Let me see.”

Mom took the movie tickets out of Wayne’s hand.

Mom: “This Sunday at three. Sounds good to me. All four of us can go.”

Wayne: “Hao Bon! Hao Bon!!” (Great! Great!)

Act II

The scene changes into the area inside of a theatre. People were just entering the theatre from outside. Dad, Mom, Sister and Wayne arrived a bit too early for the movie. They decided to use the time to find good seats as well as getting some snacks from the vendor.

Mom: “Two please.”

The vendor (since he’s an extra, he doesn’t get any lines) hands Mom two lollipops.

Mom hands the lollipops to Sister and Wayne. “Don’t eat too fast.”

The children nod their head.

Dad: “Good Air Conditioner. Cool inside.”

The four of them decided to seat in the center of the theater, proximally on the 18th row. They moved themselves from the side toward the center. As Wayne approaches his seat, he let his left hand to take over the ownership of the lollipop.

Dad took the seat first.

Wayne bends his knees and reaches for the seat. He inserts his right hand into the opening of the folding seat.

A strange sensation hits the tip of Wayne's fingers, then the rest of his hand, as Wayne thrusts his hand deeply into some kind of clay, stuck in between the folding seat.

Wayne: “Ah”

Sister: “What?”

Mom and Sister are yet to sit down. They look at Wayne.

Wayne reached his right hand out of the folding seat.

Mom: “Hurry and sit down!”

Wayne pulls his right hand closer to his nose.

Wayne sniffs twice.

Wayne: “MAMA!!! This is DAH-BIEN!!!!”

Dah-Bien = Shit, in Mandarin.

Wayne screams.

Sister: “Get away from me!”

Wayne screams once more.

Mom: “Go! Go Wash! Go Wash!!”

Wayne keeps on screaming.

Sister: “Go!”

Wayne hands the lollipop to Dad.

Raise his right arm forward. Then rushes to the entrance, where the sign says “Public Restroom.”

Wayne squeezes a bunch of soap onto the center of his palm.

Wayne turns the water on Full-Blast.

Wayne let his right hand sit under the running water.

Wayne watches as the dark brown stains begin to slide from the tip of the finger tip to the bottom of the sink.

Wayne pull his hand out of the sink. And squeeze more soap on his right palm.

Wayne rubs his two hands together. And let the water flush the soap away.

* Repeat the above action 5 times *

Wayne dries his hands with paper towels. Then raise his right hand toward his nose.

Wayne sniffs.

Wayne turn on the water and squeeze more soap on his right hand.

Wayne rubs both hands together aggressively.

Wayne rinses his hands under the running water.

Wayne squeezes some more soap on his hand.

Wayne washes his hands until the skin start to wrinkle.

Wayne dries his hands with paper towel and head out of the restroom.

Wayne bumped into his sister at the entrance of the restroom.

Sister: “I don’t know. But I felt like washing my hands too.”

The two head toward the area where Mom and Dad are standing. Waving their hands.

Dad hands Wayne the lollipop.

Wayne looks at his lollipop. Then put it back in the plastic bag.

Sister puts her lollipop in the plastic bag as well.

There were totally silence during the cartoon movie.

After 40 minutes, the cartoon movie ended.

Dad, Mom, Sister and Wayne walk out of the theater remember nothing about the movie.

The End

Ever since that saga, Wayne and his sister always look and make sure nothing is on the theater seats before sitting their butt down.

The Old Lady at Café Water

This morning, I was catching up on the blogs… Then I came across Crash’s entry. Where he mentioned that he was in the coffee shop, and then the stranger decided to chat with him and stuff like that.

All of the sudden, flash backs of something that happened to me earlier this year came to my eyes.

Yes. The Old lady. From Café Water.

If my memory haven’t failed me, it was February of 2003, just couple months after I started my new job here in New York. I wasn’t too familiar with the restaurants around work. I would only go to the places that were shown by my sister.

It was on a cloudy afternoon, where I got out of a meeting late. Two O’clock in the afternoon, I recall. I went to Café Water, just a couple blocks down the street. To be honest, the place is very expensive. Where you get a empty plastic box, and fill it up with all sorts of food on the buffet counter. At the end, the amount that you have to pay is based on the weight plus text. Well, a little tiny scoop of shrimp salad cost me five dollars. It was a rip off.

Anyway, I got my salad and a bottle of Snapple. Since all the individual tables were taken, I said down on the long table, and share the space with a couple strangers.

I have never, talk to anyone that I don’t know, in a restaurant. Even in clubs or bars, no strangers approached me nor I approach any. That’s just how it is in my life.

After I sat down on the chair and begun my feeding process… An old lady who sat in front of me, handed me a stack of napkins.

“You might need these.” She said with a heavy accent.

I thanked her, and took a couple of napkins out of her hands. (She didn’t see that I have a thick stack of napkins on my left knee)

I returned to my feeding of the shrimp salad… Then she started to talk.

“You know. I like Asian people.”

I raised my head and smiled at her. Then returned to my food.

“You Japanese people are so intelligent, polite and considerate.”

I raised my head and look at her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry Madam, but I’m Chinese.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.”

I smiled again, and then face my shrimp salad.

“I’m German.”

I looked up.

“I have been living in New York for over 35 years.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“I hate every minutes of it.”

I didn’t know what to say. Then she start to talk about her life, and how she moved here when she was young… I just kept on nodding my head, trying not to be rude. But the entire time, I was thinking about finishing up my food and returning to work.

But it would be rude for me to eat, while an elderly is talking. So, I kept my ears opened and look into her eyes. As if, I understand every single word that came out of her dried and pale lips.
Scrabbling out of the words mixing with the accent. I tried my hardest, to understand her.

“The Americans, they took everything. Everything I have.” She looked at me, and lowered her voice. She had tears flowing down her cheek.

She looked around, trying to see if anyone heard what she said… and whispered to me…”The Americans took my house, my jewelry, and my life. The damn Americans!”

I was speechless. The poor old lady, expressedso much emotion in her words. The tears of sorrow and hatred made her image even more fragile. I felt very sorry for her.

I felt very sorry for her that she has such anger and hatred. She must have been carrying such rage in the past 35 years of her life in New York.

I’d like to comfort her, but I couldn’t agree with what she had to say. First of all, I’d never been though what she experienced. I couldn’t relate to her situation.

Then when I think about Germany and New York… Something happened in 1968? What could have happened to this German lady, that ruined her life? I certainly don’t hate Americans. For one thing, I’m an American myself. (Asian American, to be specific)

But still, I cannot relate to her. And I still couldn’t agree with her. So, I said:

“Well, that’s life. Sometimes, things just don’t go the way you want it to be. It couldn’t be the government’s fault, or anything else. I’m very sorry for what happened to you. I’m not familiar with the History of New York or what happened to your family, but all I know is, no matter what happened to us, we have to move on and continue to live our lives. Keep on looking back in life and mourning about the past, will not make us feel any better. Life goes on, right?”

She blinked her eyes as if she didn’t hear what I said.

“That is why I like Japanese people. You Japanese people are so nice.”

I picked up my fork and place it inside of the plastic container.

“I’m Chinese.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

She got up and put on her coat.

“Well, I must go now. Nice talking with you.”

I smiled.

The following the back of her little body, she walked out of the restaurant and down the street.

As I turned my head back to my shrimp salad. I noticed, there were some people sitting in the corner, looking at my direction. They were giving me the face, as if they were thinking…”Gosh, how can you stand her?”

Without a second though, I swallowed the entire shrimp salad and rushed back to work.

That was the first time and last time, I was engaged in a conversation with a stranger in a restaurant. (Not that I had a choice. She kept on talking.)

What Appears on a Cute guy's Guestbook

For some reason, I came across this website.

Well, it's a website of a very good looking guy.

Then, I clicked on "Guestbook"

And I saw the following quotes:

"He is my HUBBy Now So U Gay Ca FUKING FORGET ABT HIM"

Wow.

What is Gay-Ca?

Gay-Ka? Gay-Ca? Gay-Ga?

Aroma-Therapy

I meant to submit this entry to blogger this past Wednesday, but I never get to finish it on time until today. So, here it goes.

Aromatherapy has been around and has been practiced in one form or another since the beginning of civilization. It is the art, and science, of using oils extracted from aromatic plants to enhance health and beauty. Apart from the physical benefits, essential oils can have subtle effects on the mind and emotions. The essential oils taken from plants and used in Aromatherapy have been described as their "life force" - they are essential to the plants' biological process, as well as being the substance which gives them their scent. Essential oils are extracted from flowers; herbs; spices; woods and fibers, usually by distillation, expression and solvent extraction. Solvent extraction is only acceptable for Aromatherapy if the solvent used is completely removed after the manufacturing process .

I had an Aromatherapy treatment on Wednesday night. Right after I got off work. Well, not “right after” – Since, after I get off work, I have to take the subway to the train station (20 minutes), and then take the train back (35-40 minutes) home, and then walk to the apartment (5 minutes). So, let me rephrase myself. I had an Aromatherapy treatment 1 hour and 5 minutes after I got off from work.

Feeling extremely exhausted, I inserted the key into the gate on the first floor. Like usual, I take the stair instead of the elevator, since I’m still working on reducing the layers of fat on my tummy.

Just as soon as I opened the door to the stair case, I smelled something.

Sniff Sniff

It was something that I couldn’t describe. I wasn’t sure if I can consider it a good scent. It wasn’t too bad. At least, I didn’t faint.

I proceed and walk up the stair.

Sniff Sniff

It got stronger. But I still couldn’t figure out what it could be.

“A dead Rat?” I asked myself.

Step by step, I made my way up and stopped in front of the entrance to the floor. And, the strange scent came from the other side of the door.

I turned the doorknob and open the door. Immediately, the strong aroma rushed up my nose.

“Damn it. Someone spilled vinegar on the carpet.”

“At least the maintenance guy fixed the broken light at the hallway. I wonder if he knows about the carpet.”

Sniff Sniff

The carpet is nasty.

“It’s pee.”

But didn’t smell like it. It smelled like someone dragged a dead rat across the hallway… No, it was more like someone rubbed the dead rat into the carpet. That must have explained the strong odor from the carpet.

Sniff Sniff

“This is nasty.”

Then I walked to my door. Ever since the male love bird has become a regular to our (my sister and I) apartment, I have developed this habit of pressing my ear against the door, listening for any sounds before entering.

Like what I expected. I heard the male lover bird in there. Cooking, probably.

As soon as I open the door, a mass warm air engulf my entire body. I felt like I was caught in an invisible sponge. I felt the invisible wall pressing against my body and pushing me back.

Slowly, the air crawl into all openings on my face. My nose and my mouth. Ears too, probably.

“OH MY GAWD.” I screamed inside my head.

I rolled my eyes and open the door fully.

“Hey Man!” – the male love bird said to me from the kitchen.

With a smile on my face, I nodded my head.

I dashed into the apartment, shut the door, and head straight to the bathroom.

I removed my suit as fast as possible, and put on my T shirt & Shorts.

I jumped out of the bathroom and hang my suit on the hanger, zip-up the suit protection cover, to prevent the suit from absorb any of the nasty odor.

“Uh… What are you making?” I asked the male love bird as I turn on the fan.

“Something I invent.”

“Oh, uh, what’s this smell?” I pushed the windows out – wider.

“Probably the dried shrimp skins.”

“Shrimp skins don’t smell like this.” I joined him in the kitchen.

“I fried them.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, this is going to taste good.”

“Sure, of course. Anything I can do to help?”

“Nah.”

Then I went to prepare the table, layout the chopsticks and napkins. Turned on the TV, and allow my nose to get used to the aroma around me.

“Do you know what she will say when she comes in?”

“No. Hrmm, Yum?!”

“She is going ask where did this smell came from.”

“Is it that strong?”

“You have no idea what went though my mind when I open the door.”

“Oh”

Then he continues to prepare other dishes while I chop up the fruits.

After 20 minutes. All dishes are sitting on the table, and us two on the chair (I sat on my own chair, and he saw on the futon. ) watching TV.

Then she came back.

And I was right, the first thing that came out of my sister’s mouth was:

“What is this nasty smell?! I can smelled it from the first floor!!”



Just a FYI, the shrimp-stuff didn’t taste like what it smelled. It was okay. But again, the aroma in the apartment may have already destroyed my central nerve system and sense of judgement.

Drag-A-Venature II: Jennifer Ass and Britney Boobies Part 2

This entry is the second part of Drag-A-Venature II.

The night before the show, Duckie and I sneaked into a room in the school gym, I brought my CD and he brought his portable CD player. After I did my routine in front of Duckie, we started to work on Duckie’s portion and our finale. I listened to “Make my boobies one more size” a couple of times, then I showed Duckie what I would to if I was performing that track. (Since my portion was pure-dancing and ass-shaking, I wanted Duckie’s to be sexy and hella funny) Duckie made some adjustments and went over the blocking with me several times.

“Yeah? You think we got it?”

“We gonna nail this thing!”

“Yeah!”

On the day of the performance. We went to the student center theater at our scheduled rehearsal time. Right after we walked into the theater, we saw a group of performers, practicing their movies at the corner.

“Wow, Backstreet boys!”

Yep. It was a group of five girls (lesbians) doing the famous boy band (well, they were the hottest group back in year 2000) song, “Larger than Life.”

“Can’t wait to see their performance!”

There were no one on the stage rehearing. DJ Dr. Trae is working on the lighting as well as testing all the sound tracks.

I handed Dr. Trae our CD.

“Track 1 is the song that we will be performing. Total time 5 minutes and 14 seconds.”

“Cool.”

Duckie and I walked onto the stage.

I stood close to the stage-back while Duckie hide in the corner.

I had my back facing the imaginary audience, raised my right arm up and posing for the music to start.

“I’m ready.”

The music starts.

Don-Di-Don-Di-Don-Di-Don-Di…. (The intro to “If You Had My Love”)

I snake-armed my right arm down at the same time when I raise my left arm.

I turned.

The beat picked up.

I stepped forward.

Another beat.

I leaned forward.

Another beat.

I stepped back.

I turned and twist.

Yes! Everything was perfect. I totally got my routine down.

I stepped forward again.

Then all of the sudden, I felt like I was going to fly off the stage.

“ARGH!”

The stage is not as wide as I expected. I have been practicing my moves base on what I saw on TV and Jennifer’s performance on stage. I’ve never thought about her stage is way bigger than mine. Which, gave her more room for her steps and hand movements.

But that wasn’t too much of a concern for me. I memorized the routines so well, that I can perform the moves at anytime, any place and any given space. I reduced the distance of my steps as well as how far my arms need to stretch out.

Then it came the beat change. From the original tempo to the remix.

“Damn it!”

There weren’t enough space for me to do my hip-pop steps. But that didn’t matter. I did mini-hip pop steps instead.

I turned. I twisted. I kicked.

Then bang! – The transition!

I quickly move myself to the corner, while Duckie steps out from the corner.

“Duckie! The stage is narrow! Be-careful” – I whispered as I walk pass him.

From the corner, I watched Duckie perform.

Moves after Moves. He got 70% of the routine down. But still looked some what awkward.

Duckie didn’t have enough practice like me. I totally should have choreographed his routine with him before I start doing mine.

But Duckie has always been a talented dancer. He’s got the natural rhythm in him, he handled it well. He handled it with Duckie style.

BANG! – The transition again!

I walked out from the corner with graceful movement.

We posed.

We stepped forward.

With the music by our side, our movements were uniformed. We were like two well trained dogs, that moves according to the beat given.

The music stopped.

We stopped.

“Good. Duckie, that was really good.”

“Could be better. I will go over my routine a couple times before tonight.”

“Me too. At least, the stage didn’t affect us much.”

We walked down the stage with confident. Knowing, that we will kick major a$$ at tonight’s performance.

Thank goodness that my roommates were gone. So that gave Duckie the chance to came to our apartment do prepare our “customs.”

I stuffed all of my wonderful 99 cents store make-ups into a little green free make-up case I got from purchasing some lotions online. We folded and gently placed our clothes, wigs, and accessories into many little bags. I put all my glitter gels and hair piece in a plastic bags. I shovel my stilettos on the bottom of the large size Macys shopping back and stack the rest on top of them. (Duckie will be wearing his tennis shoes on stage, so, he got less stuff to carry.)

We arrived the theater 1 and 1/2 hours prior to the show. We greeted other performances with our dazzling smiles and went to the change room.

Oh, by the way, I meant, the stairs. Yes. There were no change room in the student theatre. A bunch of us sat on the stairs by the fire exit, putting on our customs and do each other’s make up.

“Duckie, use this.”

“What?”

“Anti-Shine Moisturizer.”

“For?”

“Block out the shine on your face. Foo!”

“Okay.”

Then other performers started to ask me if they can use it.

So, I pass the bottle to them. By the time I got the bottle back, it only had 30% of the gel left.

“I hope someone didn’t use it on his or her ass… We love shining butt, don’t we?”

“No. Not me.”

“Whatever.”

Then Blackchina showed up. Like always, she was amazing.

“Wayne.”

“Hey Sexy!”

“What happened to your face?”

“What do you mean?”

“What lipstick do you use…?”

I held up the lipstick that I bought.

“Wet N’ Wild? Oh, baby, this sh*t is not gonna do it. Here, let me know you what I use. This is very professional’

Then Blackchina held up her lipstick.

MAC

“Yes. Mac. These are great!”

“I… I don’t have the budget. This is our first time…”

“Well, I'm sure the audience will not notice the Wet N' Wild. You two will do fine!”

Then Duckie whacked Blackchina’s ass.

“Oh, I like that ass.”

“Like Everyone Else!” Said Blackchina as she walked up the stairs.

At this time, Duckie and I were all dressed up.

All of us sat at the front row, while the students (oh, did I mention… The Drag Show is a campus student event?!) walked into the theater.

One of the Backstreet boys decreased the light in the theater. (DJ Dr. Trae and “Brian” both worked for campus tech-services. They have access and the knowledge how to monitor campus facilities and equipment.)

Then, the EVIL Queen came up to the stage, as the host. (John! Hi! Do you still have the custom?!)
One by One (well, group by group) He called us up onto the stage.

“Duckie.”

“Sup?”

“I can’t walk in this sh*t.”

“Well, you will have to, right?”

“I know.”

“Put them on only when you need them.”

“Yeah.”

Together, the performers were: Gay Cheerleaders, Mizzy Monet, Blackchina, Backstreet Boys and some others that I don’t remember. (Sorry, but if you saw the show and knows other performers, let me know!)

And we introduced ourselves as the “Kung-Pao Chicks.” (No, we look nothing like the Dixie Chicks)

After the introduction, we all went back down and sat on our seats.

I leaned my back against the seat and was troubled by the fact, that I never went though the entire dance routine with these pair of “new shoes.”

Distracting myself from my realization, I rubbed glitter gel all over my body, hoping some of them will cover the hair on my arms. But little did I realize, that we I didn’t get to perform until 40 minutes into the program. My gel were all dried up… The glitters were like snow flakes, falling off my body and dazzled the dirty brown carpet floor.

Okay, the show started. Performer after performer… then the game show.. then… right after the game show, it was our turn.

Duckie looked at me. And I look back into his eyes.

It was our time to shine.

We walked up the stage. (Actually, I wobbled my way up. I have never walk in these stilettos before)

I stood at the center-back of the stage, while Duckie made his way to the corner.

I started to raise my right arm, to get read for the performance.

Then, all of the sudden…

Don-Di-Don-Di-Don-Di-Don-Di….

The music started way before my right hand was up in the air.

I quickly recovered and went with the music.

With my back facing the audience, I shook my ass.

Another snake arm.

I shook my ass.

Then the beat kicked in.

I turned and stepped forward.

“Sh*t!” – I said to myself.

I felt extremely uncomfortable in my black long stiletto-boots.

Every steps I made, was awkward.

I tried my very best, in maintaining my posture, doing the right moves on the right beat, balancing myself and keeping that smile on my face.

It was not the performance I planned for myself. It was tough. Very tough.

Since I couldn’t jump in these, I replace them with mini-hops.

The turns were very difficult, so instead of using the ball of my feet as the center, I did two steps sequence and stepped into a full circle. At the same time, the wig smashed against my face and blinded me.

In shock, I gasped... And that made me inhale a bunch of hair in my mouth.

Cover my mouth with my gloved right hand, along with the next shake-body move, I pulled the hair out.

With the on-going music, I wasn’t given much time to plan how I will pull-though these new steps. I went along the music, and swinged my arms around to maintain my balance.

It was not until I finished my last turn, I started to worry about the high-tempo Remix dance sequence.

I sensed Duckie noticing my discomfort. He was probably praying from the corner, that I will not land on my nose.

I took a huge step back, bigger than what was planned…. I didn’t want to step myself off the narrow stage. I had to make more room for myself. I had to do that kick. I had to do the hip-pop steps. I had to bend down and shake my chest… Those were the signature moves!

BANG!!! Here it comes!!!

I placed my left hand on top of my head, to hold onto the wig, and stepped forward into a kick up to the sky. Followed by the landing of my right foot, I twisted my body 270 degrees so I ended up facing the audience.

I lowered my knees while spreading both of my arms back, exposing my artificial sock-filled breasts to people. (Remember, do it with the attitude of “Want them? Too bad, You can’t have them!”)

I stepped to the right and lift my right hip.

And pushed forward.

“Uh!”

I stepped to the left and lift my left hip.

And another push.

“Uh!”

Then the ankle that I used as the center when I was doing the 270 degree twist start to hurt. But I had one more 270 body turn.

Instead of turn, I crossed my legs and left my body snap into place… So it looked like that I made a real turn. Since it took my extra movement to complete, I was off the rhythm. I was slow. My beats were off.

With the fake hair all tangled around my neck, I started to increase my speed, trying to execute my moves on each beat. Instead of enjoying the moment, being the performer that I thought I would be… I ended up trying my best to catch up to the music, without falling.

The lights that shined on the stage and my face blanked me out. I really had a blanked out moment. Maybe I was in shock or was panicking. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I let my body and muscle memory took control everything.

There were lights. White lights. Red lights.

I heard the sound of the storms. Blummmm…. Blummmmm Blummmmm…..

I was dizzy. Was I turning? I didn’t know. What was I able to turn when I couldn’t turn? What was I doing?

I totally blanked out. But I was moving, some how.

Then.

BANG!!! –The Transition!-

The transition sound brought me back to my sense. I quickly changed my hand gesture and walked to the corner.

Duckie was up.

The Britney Boobies song started to play.

Duckie was doing his routine perfectly, Without any problem. So smooth and so nice.

I can hear people giggling and laughing.

He was so awesome on stage.

He had control over the stage.

He had control over the audiences.

He had them under his spell.

He was, in deed, an Asian Britney with big round fake boobies.

I was so drawn to his performance, that I almost forgot to step back onto the scene when the last transition started to play.

Step forward Step back.

Left arm and up and up and down up left.

Twist half and back.

And I totally messed up my routines. I got distracted. I wasn’t concentrating.

Then the ending sound.

That was it.

It was over.

OVAH.

We bowed and walked down the stage.

“Duckie, I fucked up.”

“Bit*h, you didn’t. Okay? You did great.”

“Thank you. That’s exactly what I thought.”

“F**k you!”

“You know you want to!”

At the end of the night, all performers went on the stage, to give the audience the last thank.

Evil Queen held the microphone to me, “What’s your name?”

“Jennifer AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHssss!”

Then the Queen move the microphone to Duckie, “And you?”

“Britney Boooooooooooooooooooooobiiieeesss!”

The night was over. I think that was probably the best Campus Drag Show since 1997! It was great. We had a lot of fun.

The scary thing is… I had the entire show on VHS… (Okay, Pero, I lost my tape. Do you have a copy? Maybe, I can digital-ize that portion of our performance and post it on the net to F**K up people’s innocent mind…)

What's the lag?

Okay, I haven't been updating my blog as often as I usually do. And some of you may have been wondering what exactly have I been up to.

Well, dearest darhling, let Uncle Wayne tell you.

I have been working my A$$ off like there's no tomorrow.

*sigh*

Work...

Work...

Work...

I'm so tired... *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*

Eye Candy of the Day
RICH


Profile:

Name: Rich
Birthday: 7/27/1985 (YEP! HE's FREAKING YOUNG)
Height: 178 cm
Weight: 65 kg
Birth Place: East Coast US.
Blood Type: O
Fan Mail: rich@ivymusic.co.kr

And what? FAN Mail?! Yap Yap Yap. Rich is a talented Korean R&B/POP singer who, I came across while I was browsing the internet. And I was like... "Oh, what the heck, He's cute." So I bought his album. Which, is not that bad - too bad, I don't speak or understand the Korean language...

Ralph Lauren. A hopeless romantic, you love love.
You are a free-spirit, who paints and explores
nature in her freetime. Ever so girly, you like
flowery things that capture the innocense you
project. Often a bit Bohemian, your style is
usually relaxed and comfortable. Guys adore
your cuter-than-life-itself nature and free-
love philosophy.


Which fashion designer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Drag-A-Venature II: Jennifer Ass and Britney Boobies Part 1

Spring of year 2000, the LGBTA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Association) on campus held its annual Drag Show. Due to the fact, that I was graduating soon, and really wanted to do something wild before I leave the college life (who knew that I didn’t graduate until 2001). I made a huge decision. In the past, we have had professional drag kings and queens to do their shows. But since it is more of a student-run even, I really wanted more students to participated the show. So, I volunteered. (Yes. That’s the #1 reason I volunteered to do the drag show, #2 reason was that my inner show-off queen was at her peak.) Duckie and I desperately wanted Danni to join us for the show, since he missed his chance on Halloween 1999. We still have all the customs from the Halloween. Since Danni couldn’t dress up, he can be the straight guy (Jerry O’Connell) from the “Heartbreaker” video. Unfortunately, it was midterms week for Danni (He transferred to another school earlier in the year), therefore, he was unable to drive down and participate. (And of course, influenced by his boyfriend.)

So, it was just two of us. Thinking about what exactly we can do that will take up a good 5+ minutes. Based on the Mariah video, the dancing was pretty minimal, plus it will require a hot guy, a dog, toilet, doors, popcorns, and a bunch of props to re-act the entire video. It was just way too much trouble. Way too much.

Then I remembered, the recent knock-out TV performance by Jennifer Lopez for the 1999 Blockbuster Entertainment Award, where she did a live version of her video, “If You Had My Love.”
And I was like, yay, wow, I’m so gonna do that. But I can’t leave Duckie all by himself. Besides, he really dig Britney Spears at that time… I immediately thought of the segment where Nicole Sulliven did a mock-up slutty Britney Spears for MadTV. I desperately wanted to find a video clip or a sound clip of that show, but ended up with no luck. (It was not until the year of 2002, Danni found that clip and… Uh, well, I will write about it in Drag-A-Venture III) However, via the power of the internet, I found this clip:

Make My Bobbies One More Size

Which is like, a totally different then what I wanted, but it is still funny. I quickly downloaded that mp3 track and saved it in my computer.

Believe it or not, it took us DAYS to get everything all ready for the performance.

Let me start with custom. Since we had really tight budget, we wanted to use whatever we can find to make things work. Anyway, the magical Duckie did it again. I spent 8 dollars on a 10 ft silver fabric, which Duckie made it into what Jennifer Lopez wore on the night of her performance.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any pictures of custom, but it is a silver version of this:


Then I spent 10 dollars on a pair of black FEMALE boots (Size 10) – the largest I can find at Shoe For Less. It is not the same white shining leather that Jennifer wore, but hey, it worked. As for the hair, Duckie used my Mariah wig, and I used his Cleopatra wig. (The only thing on me, that sorta look like Jennifer Lopez, is my ass)

Duckie’s custom is also a challenge. Since he didn’t want to spent too much time to make Britney’s famous little high school girl outfit, he decide to dress up as the “GYM” Britney. (As you may recall, in Britney Spear’s “Baby Hit Me One More Time” Video, she did a back flip and checked out her hot sexy cousin at a basketball court, yep, that outfit) Duckie re-used the pink sweater he wore as Bianca, and wore his tight black workout pants. His wonder bra really made his chest very desirable. To both men and lesbians. (After our performance, my lesbian friend Mimi, kept on rubbing her hands on Duckie’s boobies)

So, Duckie was working the custom for us, at the same time, I’ve got a bigger fish to catch. I have to produce the sound track that we use for the show.

Jennifer Lopez's performance at 1999 Blockbuster Entertainment Award used a slightly different version of “If you had my love” then that of her sound track. (I have both the full length of the Album version and the Remix Version) Using CoolEdit, an audio editing program, I was able to cut, paste and refine each segments together. However, after I played it back along with the video recording (oh yeah, I recorded her performance) – I found out that her ‘Dance’ part is much slower than the remix track. So, I had to tuned down the tempo of the dance portion. So, the track would start out with “If you had my love” and then transition into “Make my boobies on more size.” It turned out that the entire track, was only four minutes long. I had to figure out a way to make the entire performance 5 minutes long, and also maintain the audience’s attention. I looked though my entire collection of CD singles (I’m a music freak, I love CD singles that came with multi-tracks of club remix) to find something, that will build up the tension and good enough for two of us to dance. Then I found Nobody’s Angel’s “If you wanna dance” remix. Okay, the music sucked, but other CDs that I have didn’t offer what would sound good to be glued at the end of main performance. It took me two weeks, to finally get the tracks together, tuned up and finalized. The track would start with:

“If you had my love” + “Quick transition” + “Make my bobbies one more size” + “Quick transition” + “If you wanna dance” + “Ending sound”

So, you think that’s the end of the preparation? No! Of course not!

I have to choreograph our performance!

Duckie is a great dancer, but he was too busy and sorta lazy about how he wanted to do. I already know what kind of moves I will be doing, since all I have to do, is copy what Jenny from the block did on TV. But I have to choreograph “Make my boobies one more size” and “If you wanna dance.” Like a selfish b*itch that I yam, I work on my own portion first. I popped in the video and focus on Jennifer’s movements.

Thanks to the camera men, who kept on focusing on Jennifer’s face, there are moments where I had no clue what she was doing. I ended up having to compare all the moves from the video, Jennifer'’ performance, as well as her back-up dancers. (Took me forever to wait for VH1 to re-play her video, so I could record it.)
The hardest part of connecting all the moves, is that she’s doing them at different speed. The video version is more slower than the live version. And there are certain moves I couldn’t do with the given speed. So, I have to tweak and twist some of the original choreography and added a couple more steps and movements.

When I woke up in the morning, I practice. When I got back home from school, I practice. Before I head to bed, I practice. Even during the shower, I would practice in my head. I wanted it to be good. I wanted it to be flawless.

It may sound like we had a lot of time to work on everything, but we actually didn’t do sh*t until 3 weeks before the show. (Yep. We put the custom, music and choreography together in 3 weeks)

To be continued…

"Don't Look Back"
Thalia

Just let go stop livin' for now
It's better than it's been before
Trust your heart, you'll make it some how
It's everything you're looking for

A little bit of joy
To ease the pain
Try your best to forget yesterday
A little bit of sun
Without the rain
Now there's nothing in your way

Don't look back
Keep straight ahead
You know what is right
Out of mind is out of sight
Don't look back
Keep straight ahead
Learn to read the signs
Out of sight is out of mind

Now life's too short
So let's make it last
Now it's time for moving on
Things can change
Some throw it away
Forget it, what is done, it's done

A little bit of joy
To ease the pain
Try your best to forget yesterday
A little bit of sun
Without the rain
Now there's nothing in your way

Don't look back
Keep straight ahead
You know what is right
Out of mind is out of sight
Don't look back
Keep straight ahead
Learn to read the signs
Out of sight is out of mind

A little bit of joy
To ease the pain...

A little bit of sun
Without the rain...


Yep. That's what I'm talking about.

Fud Place of the Day

Cafe D'Etoile
8941 1/2 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90069
Tel: 310.278.1011

Yes, I have wrote about restaurants in New York and the ones that I went to when I was in Paris. (I went to Chili's when I was in Floria, but it's a chain store, not much to write about) Now, I finally have the chance, to introduce to you, Cafe D'Etoile in West Hollywood, at the heart of the gay central! Whenever my friends and I went to hang out at West Hollywood, we always ended up eating at some crappy place. Never liked the food. Back then, we didn't have a decent job, so, we ended up going to weird cheap place to eat.
Cafe D'Etoile is located on Santa Monica Boulevard, sitting side by side with other mini restaurants. But the only thing unique about Cafe D'Etoile, is that it is more formal than it's neighbors. (Well, if you compare the price, you will see the difference.) I have personally been to Cafe D'Etoile twice, with the same crew (Danni and Duckie - We are like, Charlie's Angels, the gay version - Oh wait, since I'm the tallest... Does that make me Kate Jackson (Sabrina)?! Oh gawd...) ANYWAY - the food are really great. It's classy and decent and plus, there are plenty of EYE CANDIES to full-fill your lustful desires... (For boy and girls!)

Recommanded Food: ... I totally forgot what I had in the last two meals... But I didn't barf... So that's good.

Choice of Music

This entry is to respond to Jalal's recent entry.

As written in his entry, that people around him couldn't agree to the music that he listens to. The frustrations he wrote really hit me in the head. Which, some what reminded me of this one time, in High School, someone I knew from my class came up to me.

"Hey Wayne, I saw you at Pick-N-Save."

[Pick-N-Save is like a 99 cents only store, and the kids would use it as a joke to degrade people.]

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. On Wednesday. So, how much did you spent? One dollar? I bet you got a lot of SPAM for a dollar."

"And you got a problem with that?"

"Uh... No..."

Then he walked away.

I used to think I became a bitch in College, now to think of it, my high school really made a silent bitch. Yeah. It's like, if you don't bother me, I'd leave you alone. But if you don't stop, I'll scratch you and pull your hair - kinda deal.

Words from the goddess, Jalal, why should you care what other people say about you? Why should you care if they don't like the music you enjoy listening to? I mean, after all, it is your life not theirs. You listen to music for yourself, not them.

If I'm in your shoes, I'd probably tell them..."Whatever. I listen to what I want to listen. It is none of your business."

Oh yeah, Jajal, you need to sign up for a new commenting system. :) Check out Enetation.

'Cause life's a bitch, and So am I! Hear me Roar!

Y Yo Sigo Aqui

Tu qumica con mi piel, hacen carga positiva
tu qumica con mi piel, hacen carga positiva
Y cuando me acerco a ti, hay una bomba explosiva
y cuando me acerco a ti, hay una bomba explosiva

Tu boca tiene la sal; mi cuerpo el azcar
tu boca tiene la sal; mi cuerpo el azcar
Y mi corazn est, busca que te busca
y mi corazn est, busca que te busca

I bet my co-workers must be wondering right now, what in the world is Wayne doing listening to SPANISH music. Yep. That's it. I made a 20 tracks CD - filled with all the spanish songs that I have from various sources.
So, why? What caused me to start listening to spanish music?

Some of you probably don't know... But I had 3 years of Spanish while I was in school (Ahem, high school, I mean, it was one of the requirements, right? 2-3 years of foreign language.) Anyway, I wanted to learn how to sing a song in Spanish... So in the future, whenever I'm in a karaoke bar, I can sing it and totally, make myself feel special. (You know, its kinda like "WOw, an Asian guy can sing in Spanish!")

Haha, just kidding. I dunno, I had the same feeling the other time, when I was at a Japanese Karaoke... And I was like... "Damn, I totally gonna master a Japanese song... So I can sing it!"

I tried and the 'passion' only lasted for 2 weeks, then I gave up.

Let's see how long this Spanish song rage will last....


The above lyrics is from Paulina Rubio's Y Yo Sigo Aqui.

Because I'm not done with my other long long long blog entries, I stole this survey from Akasha's site.

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:

1. Thalia
2. Maya
3. Opera Babes
4. Hikaru Utada
5. Seiko
6. Ken Hirai
7. Janet Jackson
8. Some Dance Track
9. Some Dance Track
10. Ayumi Hamasaki

09 things you look forward to:

1. See Paw
2. Sleep
3. Hang out with Friends
4. Sleep
5. Sleep
6. Play Freedom Force
7. Sleep
8. Sleep
9. Go Clubbing

08 things you like to wear:

1. Bath Towl
2. Cologne
3. Loose and Comfy Pants
4. King's New Dress
5. Express Men
6. Banana Republic
7. Battle Boots
8. Tank Top

07 things that annoy you:

1. Masquitos
2. Humid Weather
3. Rain
4. Sarcastic Bitch like myself. (Sorry, but there can only be ONE queen)
5. Manager not doing a good managing job
6. Male Love Bird's sarcastic brainless comments.
7. Being accused of something that I didn't do.

06 things you say most days:

1. "Shit"
2. "Damn it"
3. "Hello, this is Wayne"
4. "Fuck-N-A"
5. "Gawd!"
6. "Ok"

05 things you do everyday:

1. Shower
2. Massage my scalp with healthy scalp conditioner.
3. Read blogs when Internet is available. Other wise, write blog entries on Word
4. Look at pictures of my doggie
5. Check Email/Voice Mail

04 people you want to spend more time with:

1. Mama & Dada
2. Mah Doggie
3. Friends
4. Paw

03 movies you could watch over and over again:

1. The Little Mermaid
2. Splash
3. Batman II

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:

1. "Don't Look Back" by Thalia
2. "Things come and go" by Maya

01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:

1. I don't know.

Great, now I got days of blogs to catch up.... *starts reading...*

The Business Trip

Okay, I'm back. Finally. Fast Full Speed Internet Connection at work. This is what I missed. Yes. totally, I mean. Hel* yeah!

For those of you who didn't know, I was in Orlando Florida for a business trip. Well, it's not really about a huge arse meeting or some convention or workshop that I have to go. The only reason that I was sent to Florida by my manger, is - that he can watch me finish this business requirement document that was due in July. (ahem) Oh yeah, my manger works in Florida. (I report directly to him, yet here in New York, I also support another manger in the department)

So, you must be wondering WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY didn't I finish the document? Well, Since I have been gotten so involved with writing blogs at work.... No, just kidding. The reason that I was (uh, am, actually, I’m still working on it) unable to finish the document by July, is that the requirements kept on changing. Whenever there's a change on the users requirement, I have to revised the damn document. Plus, since I also support the *Other* manager, there are loads of works to be done. - Seriously - I'm pretty burnt out here.

But anyway, let me tell you what happened in Florida.


Nothing.

Nothing exciting happened.

Argh!

Argh! Argh! Argh!

First of all, I was totally in shocked when I see the office in Florida. I mean... There is just one single office. (Where as here in New York, I work inside of a building, where there are other people working around me and chatting and gossip about hot sexy wild nights and US Open) - But I was so lonely there. Since there's only one office, which, was occupied by my manger, I had to set up my laptop outside at the lobby, plug my power supply into the electric-hub... And work there. Uh, okay, I'll stop it right here. Working is boring, so I'm not even going to write about it. Let me tell you about Florida.

Song, the new airline service own and operated by Delta, was the one that I took to Florida. The aircraft is very new and very pretty. (Neon-Colored design and seats) The flight attendants have very cute gray-blue checker patterned scarf around their neck. (OH, Female flight attendants have those. The male... wore ugly not-so-glamour gray-ish-blue long sleeve shirt) Since this business trip was schedule last minute, I haven't had the time to get everything prepared... I spent the entire work day (the day before I jumped on Song) getting all the notes ready, refining my documents, schedule car services, support other people in the department, order computer games online...etc.

What happened, is, I haven't received my Company Expenses Card yet... Therefore, all the travel, booking and stuff are charged on my credit card... Which, the company will pay me back later. Okay, that sounds good, if I can manage save all the receipts. Another thing is, I didn't have time to get some cash out of the ATM... Everything was a rush... So I went on the trip carrying only 42 dollars... (The cab service cost me $50 for just one trip plus $10 tip!) I was pretty much 'drained' when I arrived at the Florida International Airport. I tried to use my credit card on everything... Less cash the better. The people really look at me funny, when I try to purchase a Grande Starbucks Machiato with a credit card.....("Come on, it's only 4 bucks...") My credit card is pretty much, Maxed out at the end of the trip. The plane tickets, rental card, hotel room... I was really desperate. At the same time, I didn't know which corner that I can go and sell my ass... Ahem, actually, no. I wasn't planning on that. Since I'm not familiar with the area, I didn't travel much after work... I thought of going to some gift shop... And buy something for the love birds... I hopped onto my RED sporty rental car (yeah, it was like..."Hello Mr. Cop, come, I'm speeding. Come get me! Please") and headed out.

Feeling hungry, I started to look for restaurants... I wanted to eat something nice, since company is going to pay for it. But before that happens, the fee will be charged on my credit card, which, I didn't want it to max out. Then all of the sudden, the rain start to pour. When I say pouring, it means POURING. Water all over the place. I couldn't even see the roads... Because of the reflections of traffic lights... There were tourists running around, looking for shelter... some of them sat still at the bus stop, waiting for rescue. Myself, on the other hand, saw "Chili’s" in the next corner...

"What the heck. Chili’s it is."

I didn't want to drive any more, after all, it was a rental car... not my own. I can't afford to get it damaged in any way.

So, I had dinner at Chili’s. Which, is a restaurant that my sister and I go all the time... sigh.

Since it will cost me so much money for cab service, I really need to get some cash... So I went to a local Seven-11 and withdrawl some money... and there was this freakin 2 dollar service fee.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

The rain was so bad, that I decided to head back to the hotel... Before I ran over someone or smash into a truck or something...

That's it.

Oh, did I mention, there are a LOT of bugs in Florida? I mean, ALL over. There were all over me when I was pumping the gas... I screamed and jumped up and down and waved my hands around.... It wasn't a pretty sight.


Lesson Learned: Find a sugar daddy before it rains.