Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Lucky Sandy


As many of you have read my earlier post. Yes, I got prank call, and stored the prank call number in my cell phone.

I've thought about calling back, and yet, I don't want to get myself involved in the nasty. (Rather, I don't want them to know WHO called them back)

As if I was driven by animalistic instinct, I created a new email account on Yahoo, and used the new email to post an online ad on a popular "Woman Seeking Man" dating/hooking dating website:

Hi, I'm a 32 years old woman living in the city. I may not have the perfect supermodel figure or the long curly blond hair, but this 5'7" Brunette can definitely make your wildest fantasy come true. Tell me what you like, then I'll give it to you. If you are only looking to date, have dinner or watch a movie together... That would be fine too, as long as you don't mind a complimentary blow job.

Due to the fact that I will not have access to my computer later today, please call me at (XXX)XXX-XXXX

Let's talk, soon. XOXOXO Sandy.


After three hours, I went and deleted the post from the dating site. I never intended to leave the ad forever. I would assumed, that within the three hours, someone would call to request the complimentary blow job.

Who knows, maybe no one called.

Then I went to Yahoo to delete the Sandy account. And I found 6 new emails in the inbox.

They were from the people who responded to the ad. (Pictures attached too!)

I opened the first one... Found a brief romantic description of a 35 years old guy's status... And then picture...

OH MY GAWD! WHAT A FINE ITALIAN STUD!!!!!

I clicked the NEXT link, and went to the next email.

Found a similar email... A brief message.... then the picture...

OH MY GOSH!! THIS IS ONE GORGEOUS ASIAN GUY!!!!!

The next email contains the picture of a CUTE College Boy wearing a baseball cap.

And then a dark hair HANDSOME fella with goatee, wearing suit & tie.

But we all know that nothing is perfect in the world... The email followed the previous one, was sent from someone who is old enough to be my grandpa.

I light-speed-clicked on the NEXT link before the picture was fully loaded.

The last email sent me to the roof top. Not only the email description contained XXX-rated reading materials, but the sender is a...

A FIRE FIGHTER!! ADIOS MIO!!

The attached was a head-less upper body photo, but damn, those pecs... And the muscular arms...

My jaw dropped... Why were there so many gorgeous looking straight SINGLE guys out there? *GASP* Mostly in the emails, the intention was for pure hook-up... But the Italian guy... Hot Damn... He actually wanted to ask Sandy out on a date, wrote a bit about his personal life, career and what he's looking for in a woman (partner).

WHY AM I NOT A WOMAN?!

The thought ran though my mind, but quickly vanished from the back of my head.

Why do I have to be a woman to get a guy like him? I can easily knock him down and tie him up with my jump rope.

But anyway, I felt guilty for posting the Sandy ad and mislead those guys. (Who knows, some guys who didn't email, probably called... Or even, those who wrote the email... ALSO called...)

Oh gosh, I'm such a heart-breaker.

Lucky Voodoo Dildo Girl, she's probably sitting in the tree with the Fire Fighter.

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