X-Rated

No Robert, this is not the entry where I post the picture of myself, showing some skin. That will be the next entry.

So I went to get some X-ray done yesterday. Back problem, to be specific. My Primary Doc just wants to make sure there are no serious cause for my lower back pain. (Isn't that a great excuse of me not to do sit-ups anymore?)

Patricia: "Is this your first time here?"

Wayne: "No. I've been here last year."

Patricia: "Okay, please have a seat."

After I handed her all the required documents, I sat myself down on the waiting chair. Just after I got my hand on a Time Out magazine, I heard my name.

Patricia: "Wayne. Follow me please."

Patricia was the same woman who assisted the X-Ray doctor to film my stomach last year. The X-ray doctor (Let's just call him X-Doc) was a fabulous looking guy. Dark dirty blond hair, crystal-blue green eyes, perfect teeth... 6'0 tall, hella muscular (must be a gym rat), broad shoulders.... Well, you get the idea. But too bad, I didn't find him attractive. (Hey, I said he looked fabulous, but didn't said I wanted to Jump him)

Patricia: "This way."

After I entered the room, Patricia handed me a pale blue gown.

"Take off your pants and put this on. I'll be back shortly."

It was the exactly same type of gown that I wore last year. Except, back then, I had two. One to cover the front, and one to cover the back. Which, later I found that I was fondled...uh, I tumbled around on the X-ray table and filmed at many angles with different positions. (I felt like a porn star)

So I start to untie my pants... I pulled it right down... Then... I hesitated for a second.

Should I leave my underwear on?

Patricia told me to take my pants off... Does that include the underwear?

I started to lower my underwear....

Then I pull it right up.

Should I leave the underwear on?

Then I thought about the X-Doc, who, wasn't that ugly. I totally didn't mind exposing my just-came-out-of-a-hot-bath-with-lots-of-floral-scented-bath-salt body - at in this case, my butt.

I was feeling hella great.

So I pulled my underwear down, and tossed it on the table along with my pants.

I inserted both of my arms in the gown and reached back to tie the strings.

Damn. It's a big opening.

Yep. Even after I tie the strings, the gown did not cover my back entirely.

Maybe it is my instinct, or under the guidance of my guardian angel, I ended up putting my underwear on.

Then she came back.

Patricia entered the room with a Middle Eastern girl behind her.

"Which side should face up?" asked the girl.

"This side." Patricia replied while holding on the X-ray film.

Then as instructed by her, I sat on the X-ray table. I looked at them, wondering where in the world is the fabulous X-Doc.

"I've only done the shoulders." Said the girl.

Patricia: "Good. This will be a good experience for you."

Okay, so the girl is an intern.

"Wayne, lay on your side and place your shoulder this way." Patricia rolled me over.

Then the two went behind a little wall.

"Hold your breath."

I did. Still wondering what happened to the X-Doc.

Patricia came up to the table, and rolled my body to the other side.

"Place your arms here... And shift your hip forward." She pushed my right hip forward.

It was then, I felt the lovely gown slipped toward the front of my crotch.

The damn thing totally reveled my back to them.

I felt the chill on my back, on my thigh and the back of my legs. But my butt stayed at room-temperature.

Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on.
Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on. Thank Gawd I have my underwear on.

And that was it.