Weed

*Cell Phone Shakes*

*Wayne picks up the phone*

Wayne: "Hello"

Dad: "Wayne! It's your Father!"

Wayne: "Hi Papa."

Dad: "Busy at work right now?" (Said in Chinese)

Wayne: "Sorta." *typing* *typing* *typing*

Dad: "I have a question for you. English related."

Wayne: "Ok." *typing* *typing* *typing*

Dad: "Dah-Ma di Yin-Wen zhi ma shou?" (How do you say Weed in English)

Wayne: "Dah-Ma? It's Weed."

Dad: "The 5 leaves plant?"

Wayne: "I think so."

Dad: "Oh. What is the benefit of it?"

Wayne: "Well, you know. Weed, make you feel good, I suppose. And then you get addicted to it." *typing* *typing* *typing*

Dad: "I know that. What else?"

Wayne: "You can grow it any where. In college, I have seen some student growing their own weed in the closet." *typing* *typing* *typing*

Dad: "And what else?"

Wayne: "That's all I can think of. I never used weed. Why?" *stops typing*

Dad: "What benefit does it have on your body?"

Wayne: "You smoke it and make you feel good, relaxed, and see pretty things."

Dad: "On your body. Like using it as a cream."

Wayne: "What do you mean?"

Dad: "Rub it on your body. Like herb remedy."

Wayne: "Never heard of that."

Dad: "Your mom's friend gave her a tube of Weed Cream."

Wayne: "Weed Cream?"

Dad: "With 5 leaves design on it."

Wayne: "What does it say on the label?"

Dad: "I'm not sure..."

Wayne: "Spell out the name of the cream."

Dad: "H - E - M-P..."

Wayne: "Dad, that's different. It is the hand cream from The Body Shop. A shop that sells cream, shower gel, stuff like that."

Dad: "Oh, I thought it's weed."

Wayne: "It is okay. I thought it was weed cream when I first saw the product in the store."

Dad: "Okay. Can men use it?"

Wayne: "Of course, I use it myself. " (I use the tester at the store)

Dad: "Okay. Your mom didn't want to use it. So she gave it to me."

Wayne: "Does it spell H-A-N-D P-R-O-T-E-C-T-O-R some where?"

Dad: "Yes. In the brown box."

Wayne: "Okay, it's for hands. Safe to use."

Dad: "Okay. Thank you."

Wayne: "Anything else?"

Dad: "No. That is it. I'll let you get back to work."

Wayne: "Ok."

Dad: "Bye Bye"

This brief phone conversation reminded me a couple years ago, when I moved back home from San Diego, my dad came running to me.

Dad: “Wayne!!” (He looked really nervous)

I turned my face away from the monitor…”Yeah?”

Dad: “What is this?!” (Said with trembling voice)

Then he held up my glass tea brewer.

Wayne: “Huh?”

Dad: “What is this!!” (He looks at me in the eyes)

Then I grab the contain from his hand. And said, “I’ll show you.”

I went to the kitchen cabinet and pull out the Cherry Green Tea box. I grabbed a tea bag out of the box and threw it in the brewer.

Wayne: “Then, you add hot water….And…”

Dad: “Oh, Tea Pot.”

Wayne: “Yep. Sister got it for me.”

Dad: “Okay.” (With a relief on his face)

Then he walked away. He must thought that was a glass bong or something.

PS. Bong is something that you use to smoke grass with. Okay, Kids. don't do this at home. It's not good for you. We should all use Hemp instead.

And, just now, I realized it wasn’t a tea brewer. As I was looking for a picture of this thing… It is actually called a “MOCHA PRESS” – Gawd, I feel stupid.