Friday, July 22, 2005

That Thing!

Wayne and Paw were in the car.

Paw: "Where do you want to eat?"

Wayne: "Anything."

Paw: "What do you feel like eating?"

Wayne: "You."

Paw giggled. "We've done that already. Now, seriously, where do you want to eat?"

Wayne: "We still have some money left on the Chili's giftcard."

Paw: "Let's go eat at Chili's then."

Wayne: "Okie Dokie."

Wayne took out his cellphone and called Chilis.

"Hi, this is Wayne. Table for 2 please. Yes. Yes. We're on our way."

And as expected. There was a huge line of people waiting outside of the restaurant.

Wayne said to Paw: "Let me go in and ask how long is the wait. I'll be right out."

Paw nodded.

Wayne walked into the restaurant, squeezed himself thought the sea of people and went up to the host.

Wayne: "How much longer do we need to wait? Wayne for 2. I called ahead earlier."

Boy-Next-Door-Type Host: "30 - 45 minutes."

Wayne: "Oh. Okay. Do I need a..."

Boy-Next-Door-Type Host: "Just listen for your name."

Wayne: "Okay. Thanks."

Wayne walked out of the restaurant and found Paw on the bench. Smoking.

Paw looked up.

"Got the vibrator?"

Wayne blinked.

Paw looked at Wayne.

Wayne looked back.

Then Wayne squat down and started to insert his right hand into the back of his pants.

Wayne: "Hold on. Let me take it out of my a$$."

Paw jumped up. "What are you doing?!"

Paw's face turned red.

Wayne: "You asked me for a vibrator."

Paw: "PEOPLE are WATCHING YOU!! STOP IT STOP IT!!" (In Mandarin)

Wayne stood up with a sheepish grin on his face.

Wayne: "Pager. You meant Pager. Right?"

Paw: "Right."

Wayne: "A Pager that vibrates when our table is ready. Right?"

Paw: "Yes."

"A vibrator is a type of sexy toy, commonly used by women. It's a thing that you stick it up your..." Wayne said in a slow and calm manner.

Paw: "OKAY. I GOT IT. Now. STOP!" (In Mandarin)

Paw, embarrassed, turned his face away from the crowd. "I... I don't know you."

Wayne laughed like the wicked Witch of the Yeast.

"Ah Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho...."

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