Originally written on 6/16/05
After a long day at work, and then the Asian American Film Lab workshop, Wayne finally got a ride from his team-mate to the Penn Station.
Wonderful, 24 minutes 'til the next train. He thought.
To kill time, he went into the Duane Reade store and did some eye-shopping.
Track 17. Ding. Track 17.
As soon as he heard the annoucement on the train arrival, he ran out the store and down to the tracks.
Wayne, in a dark navy blue suit, white shirt, black fake-leather belt and shoes, sat down on rear seat.
It was not the best seat on the train. Mainly due to the fact that it was right-next-to the restroom. but the seat is also right next to the rear door. Whenever someone opened the door and came though from another cabin, there would be a potential injury of getting one's head banged by the damn door.
But Wayne had no choice. The train was packed.
He sat himself down by the window. Took out his book and started to read.
People continued to push themselves into the cabin.
Maybe it was after 3 minutes, that Wayne noticed a lady was standing to his seat.
Wayne looked up from his book. Made eye contact with the lady.
She looked back with an emotion-less expression.
Wayne turned his attention back to the book.
The backseat suddenly became a lot smaller... and a lot hotter.
"I only had three days to prepare for this assignment, and there was no way I could cram in everything I needed to know. I'm sure I missed a lot that Rachel said." She wasn't missing a lot now. No matter how much she watned to stare somewhere else, her gaze kept returning to his bare chest; she was mesmerized by te rise and rall of his steady breathing, the damp perfection of smooth skin over hard muscle. (Page 214)
Ahem... The sound came from the lady.
Wayne looked up.
Wayne: "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize."
He proceed to remove his bags from the seat next to him.
The woman nodded her head, then sat down next to Wayne.
Well, b*tch, why didn't you just SAY so? Sheesh. Wayne thought. (Wayn'e wasn't in his best-est mood. It has been a long day, he was tired and have turned into the wicked B*tch of the East)
Well, maybe she couldn't speak English. Or thought *I* don't speak English. Wayne thought again.
Then the train took off.
The track-noise was so loud, that Wayne couldn't focus on his book. So, he place his book down on his lap, closed his eyes to rest.
"Who... What do you think about this?" the Lady said into Wayne's ear.
Wayne opened his eyes, turned to the woman.
"What do you think about this?"
The lady out the newspaper featuring Michael Jackson's photo on the cover.
"I'm just glad it's over. Whatever is decided by the Jurors, it's been decided. If our judiciary system said that Jacko is innocent on all 10 accounts, then he's innocent." Wayne said, restlessly. (I don't f**kin' care.)
"You think so?"
"It's not like I can do anything about it. Besides, there are no clear evidences to prove he molested the kid, or the kid got molested. Both party could be telling lies." (Ah!)
"I think Michael Jackson is a good person... Except for *this* incident!" She pointed her finger at the paper.
"Okie Dokie" Wayne said, then he relaxed his neck and closed his eyes. (Come on, Woman. Give me a break. I don't talk to strangers.)
After few seconds of silence.
"At least, it's over." She said.
Then the lady raised her hand at Wayne.
Wayne opened his eyes, and saw her hand. (Huh? she wants a high-five?)
Wayne gave her a high-five.
"Hi, my name is Leana." She extended her hand to Wayne.
"Hi. Steve." Wayne hook her hand. (Like H*LL I'm gonna tell you my real name)
She then pull out a big size 15 Tennise Shoe from her bag. "Guess how big?"
"15. For my son."
"He must be a big guy. Does he play basketball?"
Good. This will be the end of the conversation. Wayne thought. So he picked up his book and start to read from where he left off.
After a breif silence. The lady padded Wayne's arm.
"So, are you from New York?"
"So how do you like New York?"
"At first, I hated it. Now it's life. My life." Wayne turned back to his book.
"I work for Human Resources. What do you do?"
"Oh, sorry if I'm talking to much."
Wayne gave her a sheepish smile, then turned back to his book.
"So, which stop are you getting off?"
"Meeeeooowwwwlah" Wayne said without taking his eyes off the book.
"So what are you reading?"
"Looks like porn."
What the f**k are you talking about?!
"The cover featured a stereotypical Bond-Girl type character. Who happened to be the lead. The story itself is like an over-the-top James Bond mockery..." I composed in the most lady-like manner.
"Still look like porn."
She took it away from my hand and looked at the cover.
She must have been reading word by word.
I smirked, extended my hand and waited for her to return my book.
Instead, she flipped it back to read the description.
As she was concentrating on reading the 'porn novel' description, I took my chance and quickly text-messaged Paw.
Like a good boy that he has always been. He called.
"Help me Help me lah" (In Mandarin)
"Do you understand what I said?" (In Mandarin)
Took him a while to realized that I was speaking in Mandarin.
"Keep talking." (In Mandarin)
"I'm being stalked by this woman..." I described the incident from the beginning to Paw in beautifully spoken Mandarin. I kept a beautiful smile on my face, as if I was talking about what a fabulous day I had - But the truth was, I have used the Mandarin version of "F**K" several times as I complain to Paw.
"Tell her to F**K off."
"She has my book. She might eat it." (In Mandarin)
"Move to another seat."
"There are no other seats. It's packed tonight." (In Mandarin)
"Don't let her touch your GEE-GEE (penis)"
"If she does, I'll pinch her nipples off." (In Mandarin)
"She is." (In Mandarin)
The lady beamed a wickly smile at me... Mouthing...."Chinese?" Then gave me a wink.
I smiled back, nodded my head and spoke into the phone with lyrical polite-Mandarin: "Paw, I think the OLD PU$$Y wants to insert her tongue into my mouth."
"Just don't hang up." (In Mandarin)
"This is the first time I've ever spoke so much Mandarin to you." (In Mandarin)
"So how was your day?" (In Mandarin)
Then the train went thought the most 'giggly' path - the cabins were shaking like the tail of a rattle snake.
After the train stopped shaking. The lady turned to me. Handed me back my book. Then started to jiggle her a$$.
I mean, literly. Jiggled her a$$.
I pretented to be very involved in my conversation.
"Paw. Oh my gosh." (In Mandarin)
"She shook her a$$." (In Mandarin)
"You Crazy? My hand will melt." (In Mandarin)
"What's she doing?"
"Trying to be cute. Well, she better try a lot harder." (In Mandarin)
From the reflection of the window, I saw the lady started to put on make ups.
"Paw. She's putting on makeups." (In Mandarin)
"It's freakin' 10:45PM. Who wears makeup at this time?" (In Mandarin)
"I think she wants to f**K tonight." (In Mandarin)
Paw laughed on the other end of the phone.
"Me! Me! Don't you get it? She wanted to look her best - When we head to the sack." (In Mandarin)
"That's disgusting. Stop it."
"No. I'm serious Paw. She wants to get laid!" (In Mandarin)
"I think YOU want to get laid."
"Okay. Deal. I'll see you Sunday. Make sure I get laid." (In Mandarin)
Paw laughed on the other end of the phone.
"Okay. The train is arriving my station soon. I'll be free soon." (In Mandarin)
"Remember to tuck-in your butt. So when you get out, your butt will be out of her way."
"I'll fart in her face if she does that." (In Mandarin)
"Yeah, Smooch Smooch you too." (In Mandarin)
Then the train stopped. While still pretending to have a loving conversation on the cell phone, I slipped out of my seat, effortlessly dashed out of the train.
As the train continued its journy forward, I saw the lady smiling at me from the other side of the window.
I smiled and waved.