Friday, January 14, 2005

Wayne's Fairy Tale II

"Miss Bambell!"

"Miss Bambell!"

"Miss Bambell!"

Serophia opened her eyes as she woke from her nap. She looked up.

"Miss Bambell!" yelled the carriage driver.


"Do you have any ointment?"

"Ointment for what?"

"My hemorrhoids are killing me!"

"Hemorrhoids ointment?! You think I would carry something like that in my purse?! No! No! I don't have any! I don't have hemorrhoids!!"

"Sh*T. I have to stop now. I cannot sit any longer." said the driver.

The driver stopped the carriage.

"What are you doing?"

"My butt is killing me. I have to rest..."

The driver jumped off from the carriage and lay face-down on the grass.

Serophia had enough.

She raised her voice yelled at the driver:

"I've had enough. You men have so many problems. First genital herpes and now hemorrhoids!"

Then she walked to the back of the carriage and grab her Louis Vuitton bag.

"I'm walking!!"

"Wait Miss! You don't know which..." Without finishing his words, the driver fainted from the hemorrhoid-pain.

Serophia paid no attention to the driver. She pulled out the directions written by her sister from her purse.

"I don't need you. I've got this!" She grinned.

All of the sudden, Kenny, the magical dancing Mandrake, jump out of the ground and snatched the paper out of her hand.


Serophia screamed and chased after the mandrake.

"Come back! Stop!! Stop!!"

Kenny kept on running and running and running.

"Come back!! Please!!"

Serophia's fragile feet could not keep up with the mandrake roots. Shortly after, Kenny was out of sight, and she was lost in the middle of the enchanted forest.

Surrounded by trees, Serophia lost her sense of direction and had no idea where to go or what to do. She sat under a tree, and cried her heart out.

If only Mommy's here...

To fight her fears, she started to sing the nursery rhymes that she learned from her 1st mother.

Mary had a little lamb~
Her father shot it dead~
Now it goes to school with her~
Between two hunks of bread.

And another one.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, because he was gay.

Just before she start the next rhyme, a sound came from the bush distracted her.

Serophia stood up and said: "Who's there!?"

A squirrel jumped out of the bush and hissed at her.

"RABIES!!!" Serophia screamed and started to run.

She ran and ran and ran and ran until she ran out of breath.

"Excuse me Miss?"

Serophia jumped and turned her head.

A handsome man, dressed in pale green shirt and black hunter pants, stood not too far from her.

Serophia took several steps back, not that she feared this 6'2, 201lbs, muscular build man with dark blue eyes and strawberry blond hair. She just wanted to check out the 'entire package' - from head to toe.

"Who... Who are you?" She asked.

"Name is Adam, M'Lady." He lowered his head.


He was so stunning looking, that Serophia was immediately turned on by his Old Spice Aftershave model look.

He won't be a bad candidate for being her first... Serophia mumbled in her head.

Serophia 'accidentally' tore her skirt to reveal her thin-ivory leg to the gorgeous rugged man.

"Oh, I'm so tired. I think I need to lie down and rest..." She whispered as she sat herself down.

The grasses were soft, and the warmth from the Sun made it the perfect bedding for naturalistic mating ritual.

Adam walked toward Serophia... And leaned over...

She opened her moist cherry lips...

He opened his...

And asked:

"Do you have any... Ointment?"

To be continued.

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