Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Toilet Tale: Discovery

If I have a choice, I would never use the company restroom late in the afternoon. Because though out the day, the toilets would be used by every-single-person working on the same floor.

But when you have to go, you have to go.

And this is what happened to me yesterday.

The big breakfast and lunch spent no time in speeding though my digestive system. By late afternoon, I had the urge to use the toilet.

Just right after I opened the Men's Room door, I saw Steve walking out from the last stall. (We have 4 stalls in the Men's Room)

And damn, it smelled really bad.

Steve must have some nasty crap.

But I didn't let him read my mind. My face remained plastic like every other day.

Steve: "Hi."

Wayne: "Hi."

I smiled, and pretended the restroom smelled like a cherry blossom garden. I didn't want to hurt Steve's feeling. He probably didn't know how stinky his sh*t smelled.

Like a princess, I pretended that I need to use the urinal. (Right. I don't want people to know that I'm about to Poo) I stood in front of the urinal, pretended to peeing.... While waiting for Steve to finish washing his hand.

As soon as Steve walked out of the door, I rushed to the stalls.

I opened the first stall... And...

Some moron didn't flush the damn toilet.

I swan-kicked the flushy handle and went to the next stall.

I thought I saw the worst, but the next stall took my by surprise.

It was like, Chunky Poo mixed with Neon Urine soup base.


It was sick.

One has to be a sick bastard for leaving his Poo Stew for the world to see.

I swan-kicked the flushy handle and went into the next stall.

All of sudden, my basic instinct took over. Instead of walking INTO the stall, I stood in front of the door. My foot automatically kicked the door open...

And I saw...

Toilet Paper Poo Slush Veggie Yellow Pee Mix.

My legs went limp.

I held on to the door to prevent myself from falling backwards. (or forwards)

It was f**king scary.

It was beyond what a simple swan-kick can do. The drain must be jammed by all the fibers and toxic waste.

I closed the stall door and went to the last stall.

I had no choice, but to settle what Steve left me.


At least, he flushed it completely.

I covered the seat with the toilet seat covers (I always use 3 sheets).

Sat down.

And out of no where, these words came to my mind:



I couldn't believe such kinky phrase would come from my head!!

Steve's toilet seat was WARM AND COZY!?

Steve's BUTT had made the seat WARM and COZY!?

OH MY GAWD. I'm a Freak.

And this freak turned 27 today. :-)

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