Friday, October 15, 2004

New Found Power

Baby Homer wrote about an entry about being a follower during the process of growing up as a child. Thus, reminded myself, that I was the world's biggest submissive (Submissive, heh) follower ever in my elementary school years.

I've always seemed to be attached to a particular classmate, and become really close. Then next year, a new class, a new close friend.

This was before I moved to the United States. I went to a private school with my sister, in the city of Taipei. And yes, since it was a private school, all the kids were required to dress in uniform. Every morning, we would attend the morning session, where class by class, the students lined up at the main court listening to the Principle's words of wisdom. After it's done, the teacher would lead the students as we marched like a bunch of little Nazi's back to our class room.

Instead of students going to another class for Math and Science, we would have the instructor came to our "main" classroom to teach us the craft. (For Music, Art, and Computer, we have to move our a$$ and go to the class room) So, basically, I was surrounded by the same faces every day at school for the entire year. And usually, I became a good friend to who ever sat next to me.

Forth grade was a bad year for. I don't even, remember what I learn in the class. I became a really close friend who sat next to me. Let's call him Bottle. Bottle is slightly taller and bigger than me. I couldn't say that he was a brain child, but we were both equally un-popular in the class.

I was so attached to him, that I follow him every where. We hang out together at recess, we help each other out with homework, sat together during lunch time. You must thought that we were "GOOD" friends.... Well, apparently, he was the biggest dick in class. If he asked me to let him copy my Social Science homework, and I refused... He would threaten me with "I will not be friends with you anymore." Fear took control of my body, and I would dig out my homework instantly and handed it to him like an offering to a King.

I also bought lunch for him while he sat at the bench. Waiting.
I let him borrow my pencils during exams, because he usually forgets them.

I was a faithful dog. I see him as a role model.

At the end of the year, my class rank was #34, and him #37. (There are a total of 40 students in the class) My grades were horrible. Even my mom didn't know what happened with me. (See, people who you hang out with *DO* influence your life style) And the weird thing was, I didn't even care if I was doing bad in class. I didn't even know what I've done during the entire year.

During the last week before the school was over, Bottle noticed the musical watch my Dad bought me during his business trip. (It was a little yellow penguin watch, and if you lift up the little lid, it will play 8 different kinds of tunes)

He wanted it.

I refused.

He asked if he could borrow it.

I refused.

Then he looked at me coldly.

"Well, I'm not going to be friends with you anymore!"

I look at him in the eyes. Opened my lips, and said slowly...

"K...H...A..N......N...I...M...A...." ("F**K Your Mother" in Mandarin)

Note: "Khan Ni Ma" was a popular cuss word that was used all over the city. That was the first time, I cussed at someone.

******************After Thought************************
Did I ever mention that I was Female Love Bird's house servant until I reached the age of 10? I obey her as if she's a Goddess. I bring her slippers to her whenever she needs them. I pour her cups of juices upon request, and I would run around following her like a dog. Then, one day, I asked myself..."Wait, why am I doing all this?" - I finally broke free from the dumb-F**Ker spell, and became my own master. (And why did it take me 10 years to realize that I was so stupid?)

The word "Naive" isn't quite the word that describes my childhood.

That Yellow Penguin Watch empowered me with confident. I had learned that, friendship is not about pleasing the other. I didn't have to hang onto and sacrifice myself to maintain a one-way-street friendship.

It takes two to tango. It applies to relationship, as friendships too. (Unless it's an Orgy we are talking about. Then it will take 5+ to get the party started)

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