Take My Breath Away

Maybe I should rename my blog and called it "Wayne's Subway Tale" or something like that. It seems I get more actions on the subway train than any where else.

(After I expressed my feeling about personal space and my Argh Argh toward the male love bird - I haven't been hanging out with them. Which is good. That means, the love birds just lost their supporting roles in my saga)

This morning, the train was unexpectedly busy. Crowded with people. As I was desperately seeking for an eye candy to lean my body against, I got myself stuck between mountains of men. (the Non-eye candy type)

Finally, at the first stop, after some people stepped out of the train, I was able to wiggle my body out of the men forest. I placed myself directly right in front of the train door and my right hand on the pole.

In front of me, stood a woman and a man.

The woman reminded me of Rosie O'Donnell, especially her hair.

Just before I was thinking of saying "Hey Rosie Darling" in my head, she opened her mouth.

She YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNed.

I just happened to be standing at the perfect location to view her perfectly ROUND mouth.

Then as soon as the woman closed her mouth... A breeze of air brush against my face.

Like - OH MY GAWD.

I SMELLED SOMETHING.

I HAVE INHALED HER BREATH.

Like, HOLY MOLLY! MOMMY I WANT MY MOMMY!

I seriously wanted to turn my entire body around so I didn't have to SMELL HER BREATH - but with the crowd around me, I couldn't move.

Usually, in a situation like this, I would look for other victims and see how they would react to it.

I looked at the man standing next to her.

The man was reading a book, some sci-fi novel...

Suddenly, his mouth opened.

And

He YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNed.

Like - OH MY GAWD OH MY GAWD.

I SMELLED SOMETHING.

I HAVE INHALED HIS BREATH.

Like, HOLY MOLLY CHEESE! AYE DIOS MIO!! OYE!!!

Take My Breath Away~~~
Take My Breath Away~~~

I lowered my head, looked at the ground.

With tears around my eyes, I screamed in my head:

Damn it, Get me out of here!! Now!!! NOW!!!!!!