Now you are telling me?

This is the entry that I posted a while back (a week ago?) - But only stayed online for a couple of hours. You know, the Super Model Swinging mood got me back then. Now, I'm going to re-post it. :)

(Warning: This is a long and not-funny entry)


"Wayne, why didn't you go to Taiwan and be an actor?"

Said my sister, out of the blue, last night.

I paused for a couple seconds.

"Because I'm too old now." I replied.

"Not really." She said.

During the few seconds before I responded to my sister, millions of things went though my head.

I have always wanted to be an actor/singer/dancer/whatever - but since I have a terrible voice, I have go give up on my singer day dream. And then, since I've had knee injuries and a f**ked up back, I couldn't dance, so there goes that dream. I've only left with a dream, that some day, I can act on a stage - or even in front of the camera. I love to perform, I really do.

Before entering college, I have hinted to my parents that I would like to major in Theater... (I grew up under the influence that I must choose a career that will be stable and a life time supply of income) For some reason, I ended up doing Computer Science. Two years down the road, I had to drop out from that major, mainly because I never liked programming. I couldn't go on with something without the slightest interest. From that, I turned to ICAM. A new major that focused on Computing in Arts (Multimedia, Media, Web, etc). Since I have already wasted 2 years of my college life, ICAM was my only solution for graduation. (I was able to complete all the requirement within 3 years) My parents (and sister) couldn't figure out what else they want me to do, gave in. (At that time, they just want me to graduate) Without informing any of them, I signed up to minor in Theater (Theatre?).

During the rest of my college years, I have auditions for some small parts in indie films, school plays, and some other random projects. But I only went for the small part and made the slightest effort in getting the job.

Why? Because I was afraid if I did too much, my parents will know. Even though, I knew that I can do better.

After college, I stayed in San Diego for 6 more month, just to finish off my internship as a Web Designer/Developer... Then I moved home to live with my mom.

Every day, I would go to my trusty casting websites to see if there are anything that would suit me. I'd be looking at the posting and said to myself..."Oh, this is perfect for you. Oh, that one is good too... But you have to work and you can't call in sick tomorrow. Oh, too bad. And you don't have a head shot, nah. Mom will find out. Never mind."

Couple years ago, I flew to Taiwan to take of my Dad, who was hospitalized for surgery. We had brief chat, and again, I implied about my passion for the Entertainment industry. And we chat and chat and chat and some how, it turned into working in the Entertainment Industry - BEHIND the scene deal.

After I came back to US, I landed another internship through connection. Worked 'behind the scene' for a NBC show.

It was a great experience. I had the chance to see and eat with the actors. (Eating 'with' - even though they were 4 benches down, and I was all the way at the corner, but we were in the same lunch area) Learned a little on how things work... But I wasn't happy.

Needing money, I quit the internship and found a job where I can apply the skills I learned in college.

And yes, I taught Web Design and 3D Graphic/Animation as a teaching associate at a private Institute. Was I happy? Yes, I was. But the money sucked and 60+ hours per week was murdering my complexion. 4 months down the road, I had to say good bye to that job.

I've worked a several other jobs, and landed small parts in low budget productions.(Yeah, I played 'an audience' - gee what a great part) Until I have reached the age, where I was very worry about my career. I basically, forced myself to stop thinking about the Entertainment Industry... I had to concentrate what would be best for me and my family.

Though my sister's connection, I got my current job in New York.

The male love bird, who worked as a part time actor, re-lite my fire for the show business.

I can still remember how my sister said..."Yeah, you can do it part time over the weekends or something. For fun, you know." Yes, she has no clue how much effort is involved. (She knew that I have interests in acting since I was very young, but she didn't want me to take it seriously.)

With his help, I have gone to a couple auditions... (no. didn't get any parts) But it was nothing. Both of us were insecure about income and career, we couldn't give it all out.

In the traditional Asian culture, a job in Show Biz is doomed to failure.

I have got myself and my family to support.

For 9 years, I have dreamt and still dreaming about a career in the show biz, and had to press my feelings and passion down to the bottom of my feet.

Any YOU are telling me this NOW?

Then my sister opened her lips.

"But for get into the business, you need good connections. We don't have connections."

"Exactly..." I said.

I thought, if I went to Taiwan for Show Biz at a much younger age, I could have already slept my way up and be a rich Daddy now.


***Thanks to Kervs, for his previous comment on this entry***