Monday, August 04, 2003

Yes. I was all hot, sweaty, and bothered that late afternoon

It's that season again. Totally got me all sweaty, moist and in heat. Especially this past weekend. I mean, gawd, my body was trembling the entire day. My heart beats like there's no tomorrow, and there was a cloud of heat that was stuck in my head. My eyes were red... I looked like a hungry desert wolf looking for it's prey under the sun. (Wait? Desert Wolf? Oh, I mean coyotes)

Clearly, from the people (couples) that I saw down the street in the city, the 2nd wave of the Mating Season has arrived.
This past Sunday, I went out with my sister and her boyfriend. (Yes. The 3rd Wheel saga continues) – Well, actually, she called me earlier that morning.

“Wayne, we gonna go do some outdoor stuff. So, don’t wear the usual.”

So, before I head to the city, I put n my usual clothing, and packed a cargo pants and a shirt into a bag.

I mean, I just had a feeling of bringing the comfy clothes instead of wearing them. Besides, I have to make myself all nice and pretty and presentable. Who knows who I will bump into in the city, and what romantic (or porno graphic) story may unfold.

Anyway, when I arrived at the meeting point when my sister and her boy, it was already 1:00 PM. The weather was very nice.

“Wayne, we gonna go kayaking.”

I blinked. I mean, when was the last time I kayaked? – Uh, never! But I don’t want to spoil their plan.


So, I switched what I wore to the city with the sporty-que outfits I bought.

“Let’s Go”

At the Houston River, there’s a spot where people can kayak for free. Which is cool. Anything free is cool.

“We gonna do the singles. No double.”

Apparently, the two love birds kayaked at the same location the day before. They probably didn’t’ enjoy the double kayak.

So I waited for about 15 minutes, before a single-person kayak was available for me to use.

The sea was covered in water. Salt water. The same water that can be found at local beach. The water that I would normally stay away from. Yes. I don’t go to the beach often. I hardly go. The reason behind that is, I’m allergic to sea water. And this is the same water that would give me allergic reaction at the beach.

But I didn’t want to spoil the fun. Those two love birds were waiting for me to join them… Out in the open river.

“What the hell, I can always take Allergria.”

I kept my smile on my face. Acted as if I was very eager to join them.

With the help from the kayaking staff, so I slid myself onto the kayak……………………………

The water rushed up against my legs. Dominating the dry fabric and moved it’s way up.

“Crap. My ass is wet. My underwear is soaked. Now I’m gonna have rash on my ass.” I said to myself.
The entire time, I was freaking out. It is not because that I never kayaked before… I was waiting for the allergy reaction to start.

But it didn’t.


I didn’t felt any itch.

My legs didn’t turn red.


I grabbed the paddle and start making my way to where the two love birds were. Slowly.

Then I paddle faster and faster. It wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.

All of the sudden, I remembered something. Something very important.

“OH NO!!!”

My heart started to pound. My facial expression changed from the ever-so-super facial smile to frowning.

I reached into my pocket, pulled my cell phone out… And it was soaked… All wet… I can see the water inside of the screen.

“Wah, my cell phone is dead! I broke it!.”

I quickly shovel it in my shirt, between my chest and the life vest, away from the water.

Then all of the sudden, I felt some water drops on my nose. Then it came the rain. And it rained harder. AND HARDER.

I was totally wet, from head to toe.

I paddled toward the right, and saw my sister.

She was sitting in her kayak, all wet, looking down. She didn’t paddle.

I knew what she was thinking.

“Shit. I hate this.”

And that was exactly what I was thinking. But she can’t say anything. At least, not when her boyfriend is around.

She kept her posture.

I kept my highly-commercialized smiley face.

Her boyfriend was paddling around couple feet away from us, having fun. Wiggling around like a duck, paddling back and forth in circles.

“Weeeee! Kayaking in the rain!! Yeah! This is Fun!”

For some reason, I had the sudden urge of throwing my paddle at him. I wanted to knock him out.

Then the rain cloud went away, off to moist more people.

The sun came back, and shined upon the world.

Mother nature spread her love across the land. The sun light brought out the green from the trees, butterflies did their dances above of tulips, birds flew across the sky, and people laughed with joy.

Well, bull sh*t. I just wanted to get back onto the shore.

And we did.

SHOWER, was all I had in mind.

We returned to his apartment, took a shower and changed clothes.

But someone forgot to bring an extra pair of underwear.

That someone didn’t know he will end up kayaking.

That someone didn’t expect to end up totally sweaty and wet.

I put on my nice comfy linen pants without wearing any underwear. I maintained my graceful gesture and meet up with my sister and her boyfriend. After all of us are ready, we headed out to Time Square, where we had our dinner.

“Wow, this actually feel good. So cool down there… So free!” I thought to myself as I was walking down with them.

When the wind blew though my pants, I felt like I was flying. I’ve never felt like this before.

Is this why some people like to run around naked?

The sensation totally made me forget about my cell-phone misery.

Down the street, we walked pass by so many couples… Holding hands, whispering softly into each other’s ears… While bumping in other people on the street.

My sister and her boyfriend were holding hands as well. They marched on, heading to the restaurant… While I was following them from behind. Like a dog.

I felt really left out. Even though my sister would turn back and make sure that I’m not lost and I’m okay…. But it’s a weird feeling to have. I wanted to take off my pants to attract some attention.

I don't like to be the 3rd Wheel. I know they wanted me to hang out with them, not missing out on the fun. However, I'd rather stay home and watch TV. I felt more comfortable that way.

That night, we had dinner at Carmine’s, and then we saw American Wedding, then my sister and I went back home. The day ended with a nice note. I've added Sean Scott William to my stalk list.

Yes. I was all hot (damn humid weather), sweaty (Kayaking), and bothered (My phone…) that late afternoon, but I discovered the joy of walking in public without wearing an underwear.

Maybe I should try it again.

(My phone is still not working! Wahhhh Wahhh...)

No comments: