Friday, July 11, 2003

View from the other side

I randomly came across a blog, 良心告知 from Taiwan. (Yep, its in Mandarin Chinese) - To make things short, he's got tested HIV positive as for Oct. 2002. In his journal, he wrote about his experience, his friends, his boyfriend, his ex-boss, work, life style, medication and everything thing around him - and how some of them changed after he became a carrier.

He lost some of His friends.
But the relationship with those who remained friends with him got stronger.
He got fired from work, because of his status.
And he couldn't find a job because of that.
For people whom he has dated in the past, refused to talk him anymore.
They don't want to have anything to do with him.
Because they fear him.
His boyfriend never questioned him on how he got infected or how long he has it.
He remained by his side. Taking care of him, support him, and loving him like always.
Pills and other medication appeared quite often in his entries.
They have brought him hope, and yet, pain at the same time.

He continues to live his life without fear, but only regrets of why he didn't take care of himself in the past.

Through his words, I learned about the gay scenes in Taiwan.
Through his words, I can get a sense of the things he faced.

Through his experiences, I wonder what would I do if I'm in his shoe.
How will I live?
How will I deal with the world that may or may not turn against me.

That I cannot answer myself.

I can only constantly remind myself, that I need to take a good care of myself and don't do anything that I'll regret.

We only have one life to live. We should all treasure every moment of it. Other than be careful with how we plan the next step, we also need to responsible for all the actions that we take. Doesn't matter what happened to us, we all should live on and on and on.

Quote from the late French director, Cyril Collard, after he found out he's HIV positive.
"You feel fear, a profound fear. But at the same time a strange calm comes and takes you in hand. It turns fatality into destiny, in which you can dredge up - out of even the filthiest depths - insights into truth, love and lust to console you for your pain"

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