I was a total trooper this past weekend. Aside from running from one place to another, I still manage to spend some COFFEE time with Paw.
Sunday, I believe. That I was doing a short-film for a friend of mine. (Playing an extra who got his a$$ kicked by a girl) After that, I had one audition in Brooklyn and another at East Village.
The day started out like this:
7:00AM - Woke up.
7:30AM - Woke up from slacking off on the bed.
7:31AM ~ 7:40AM - Brush teeth, squeeze black heads.
7:41AM ~ til Clean - Shower.
And I managed to catch the latest train before I was doomed to be late. Just before I left the apartment, I grabbed a handfull of cookies and tossed them into my bag.
Who knew, the cookies ended up being my brunch.
Anyway, I set to the set, and turned out that my friend (the Director) had cab problem. So he didn't show up until 1 hr and 20 minutes later.
But I forgive him. He's a nice guy. (Cute too. But married.)
While the other 'talents' sat in the "Green Room" sipping on their Evian water, I helped my friend up with the lights and the stuff. (No. I don't know anything about lights. So I kept on ask him questions... And basically, slowed him down)
Finally, we get to film the scene - I put on my wardrobe (a red t-shirt) and joined others on the karate mattress.
Oh, did I mention this is an ACTION film?
Right. I got my ass-kicked. We all did, except for the lead Actress. She was the a$$-kicker in the film.
I left the set around 3:00PM - I wanted to leave around 2PM, but since everything started late... I wanted to finish my part...before I catch my 3:30PM audition.
Right. The one in Brooklyn.
I ran out of the Dojo, down the street, and ran and ran and ran and caught the M trian, and then transfered to G train, and then the F train.
I arrived at the audition around 3:35pm. - I was thankful that the person (doing the audition) before me was late. So I had sometime to recover from the running.
And PEE too.
I've been holding my PEE since the morning.
As a matter of fact, I didn't know how I managed to hold my pee for hours. But as soon as I made it to the audition, my bladder startd to relax.
Wayne: "Uh, excuse me. Where is... The restroom?"
I said that while took a glance around restaurant.
(The audition took place in a CLOSED-deli place. Everything looked dirty and ghetto.)
One of the guy pointed to the back..."There. Make a left."
I tipped-toe my way to the restroom. (Not that I'm a fairy. I tippy-toed because the floor was S-T-I-C-K-y)
As soon as I saw the "RESTROOM" sign on the door, I flew.
I mean, who cares if I stepped on some crap or anything. I had to pee. I had to go.
I opened the door.
And the first thing I noticed, was the HOT AIR that came out of the restroom. (Ahem, Hot Smelly Air)
I wasn't surprised though. The weather had been really hot and humid anyway.
I went in, and looked for the light switch.
Then I felt something on my arm.
Screw it. Where's the damn light? I need to PEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Finally, I found the switch. Flipped it on.
And I saw:
In front of my right eye ball.
Yeah, no kidding.
I leaned my head back as fast as I could. Then I realized....
The place was packed with flies.
Tons of them.
Maybe that was why the restroom smelled like maggots.
But I had no choice.
I've gotta let 'IT' go before my bladder burst.
Holding my breath, I walked slowly forward... To the toilet...
Imagine the bugs were not there....
I forced myself to focus.... Focus on the main goal.
Yes. To Pee. To Pee!
I think I felt a fly bumped against my ear.
And one on my elbow.
But maybe holding the breath wasn't a good idea.
Because my body was so tense... I couldn't pee...
Finally, I couldn't hold my breath anymore.
I inhaled so deep, that the maggot aroma went straight down to the bottom of my lungs - and made my tear burst out the corner of my eyes.
"IT" burst too.
(Crying Swan Position)
There were flies all over my body.
Some landed on my shoulder.
Then I saw some started to fly around my private 'bursting' area.
So I blew puffs of air.
I have never BLOW so much in mylfe.
But they kept on coming.
They were probably attracted to my "SWEATY" body. Since I have been sweating since I got out of the apartment.
During the 'blowing' process, since I was moving my body... I missed my "aim."
I made a mess on the toilet and on the floor. (Lemonade for the flies?)
I squeezed the last drop out of my system, went to the sink, wash my hands... And dried them with a paper towel...
The right after I thew the rolled-up paper towel into the trash bin... A swarm of flies emerged from the trash bin.
I backed up, ran out of the door and slamed it close before any of flies can get out.