Fly

I was a total trooper this past weekend. Aside from running from one place to another, I still manage to spend some COFFEE time with Paw.

Sunday, I believe. That I was doing a short-film for a friend of mine. (Playing an extra who got his a$$ kicked by a girl) After that, I had one audition in Brooklyn and another at East Village.

The day started out like this:


7:00AM - Woke up.
7:30AM - Woke up from slacking off on the bed.
7:31AM ~ 7:40AM - Brush teeth, squeeze black heads.
7:41AM ~ til Clean - Shower.

And I managed to catch the latest train before I was doomed to be late. Just before I left the apartment, I grabbed a handfull of cookies and tossed them into my bag.

Who knew, the cookies ended up being my brunch.

Anyway, I set to the set, and turned out that my friend (the Director) had cab problem. So he didn't show up until 1 hr and 20 minutes later.
But I forgive him. He's a nice guy. (Cute too. But married.)

While the other 'talents' sat in the "Green Room" sipping on their Evian water, I helped my friend up with the lights and the stuff. (No. I don't know anything about lights. So I kept on ask him questions... And basically, slowed him down)

Finally, we get to film the scene - I put on my wardrobe (a red t-shirt) and joined others on the karate mattress.

Oh, did I mention this is an ACTION film?

Right. I got my ass-kicked. We all did, except for the lead Actress. She was the a$$-kicker in the film.

I left the set around 3:00PM - I wanted to leave around 2PM, but since everything started late... I wanted to finish my part...before I catch my 3:30PM audition.

Right. The one in Brooklyn.

I ran out of the Dojo, down the street, and ran and ran and ran and caught the M trian, and then transfered to G train, and then the F train.

I arrived at the audition around 3:35pm. - I was thankful that the person (doing the audition) before me was late. So I had sometime to recover from the running.

And PEE too.

I've been holding my PEE since the morning.



As a matter of fact, I didn't know how I managed to hold my pee for hours. But as soon as I made it to the audition, my bladder startd to relax.

Wayne: "Uh, excuse me. Where is... The restroom?"

I said that while took a glance around restaurant.

(The audition took place in a CLOSED-deli place. Everything looked dirty and ghetto.)

One of the guy pointed to the back..."There. Make a left."

I tipped-toe my way to the restroom. (Not that I'm a fairy. I tippy-toed because the floor was S-T-I-C-K-y)

As soon as I saw the "RESTROOM" sign on the door, I flew.



I mean, who cares if I stepped on some crap or anything. I had to pee. I had to go.

I opened the door.

And the first thing I noticed, was the HOT AIR that came out of the restroom. (Ahem, Hot Smelly Air)

I wasn't surprised though. The weather had been really hot and humid anyway.

I went in, and looked for the light switch.

Then I felt something on my arm.

Screw it. Where's the damn light? I need to PEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Finally, I found the switch. Flipped it on.

And I saw:



In front of my right eye ball.

Yeah, no kidding.

I leaned my head back as fast as I could. Then I realized....



The place was packed with flies.

Tons of them.

Maybe that was why the restroom smelled like maggots.

But I had no choice.

I've gotta let 'IT' go before my bladder burst.

Holding my breath, I walked slowly forward... To the toilet...



Imagine the bugs were not there....

I forced myself to focus.... Focus on the main goal.

Yes. To Pee. To Pee!

I think I felt a fly bumped against my ear.

And one on my elbow.



But maybe holding the breath wasn't a good idea.

Because my body was so tense... I couldn't pee...

Finally, I couldn't hold my breath anymore.

I inhaled so deep, that the maggot aroma went straight down to the bottom of my lungs - and made my tear burst out the corner of my eyes.

"IT" burst too.


(Crying Swan Position)

There were flies all over my body.

Some landed on my shoulder.

My chest.

Then I saw some started to fly around my private 'bursting' area.

So I blew puffs of air.



Pffft.

Pfffft.

Pfffffffft.

Pfffft.

Pffft.

I have never BLOW so much in mylfe.

But they kept on coming.



They were probably attracted to my "SWEATY" body. Since I have been sweating since I got out of the apartment.

During the 'blowing' process, since I was moving my body... I missed my "aim."

I made a mess on the toilet and on the floor. (Lemonade for the flies?)

I squeezed the last drop out of my system, went to the sink, wash my hands... And dried them with a paper towel...

The right after I thew the rolled-up paper towel into the trash bin... A swarm of flies emerged from the trash bin.



I backed up, ran out of the door and slamed it close before any of flies can get out.