Thursday, February 17, 2005

Night of Sex and Sex

It is very rare that I do this twice a day - but yesterday... Well, twice.

I don't usually schedule my auditions during the weekdays, unless I have. The reason mainly due to my 9-5 job.

Since there are not other audition dates available from the casting people.. I had no choice but to schedule one audition at lunch time, and the other after work.

So, during lunch time, I took the train up to midtown and walked a few blocks and met up with the casting crew.

The director handed me the script.

Director: "Okay, please look over page 4 through 6, let us know when you are ready."

Wayne: "Okay."

Then I looked down and....

XXXX and XXXX are at the edge of the bed. XXXX is bent over with legs spread wide. XXXX is having a hard time getting IT in.

XXXX: Lower. No. Not there. More. More.

XXXX slams it in.

XXXX: Ouch. Slower! Slower!

Wayne: "Which part do I read? The one who is doing the f**king?"

Director: "Yes."

And in my head, all I could think was:


After the cold-read, I went back to work.

Later that night, at the other audition...

Director: "Focus more on your express."

Wayne: "Okay."

Director: "You are a writer."

Wayne: "Alright."

Director: "Then you hear moaning sound."

Wayne: "Moaning?"

Director: "People having sex."

Wayne: "Right. Moaning."

Director: "You are curious about the sound. Since, you have never heard of it."

Wayne: "Okay"

Director: "Okay, let's start."

So I pretended that I was a writer, doing some desk work.

Director: "Moan start."

I raised my eye brow, slowed my hands... And pretend that I was all curious and scared.

The guy behind the video camera continued to record the process for the next couple minutes, until the casting director said "Good."

Director: "Now, we will take another approach. Instead of being curious, you are not really turned on - and want to join them. You got up after you heard the moaning sound, and went to the wall. You want to join them on the other side of the wall."

Wayne: "Join them. Right."

Then the camera started to roll....

In my head, all I could think was:


So that was it.

And I didn't get both parts. (I'm just too shy, sweet, and innocent to be a sex-hungry pervert!)


While I was doing research on how to make bead bracelets... I came across this: "How to become a Vampire." - And it became my "What the F**K" moment of the day.

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