Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Toilet Tale: SPLASH

First of all, thank you all for your patience. I appreciate all the emails that you sent. And yes. I'm very well. Just that the work load (load, heh) have been crazy here.
It was not until I got this image from GuruStu:

That I realized... I have forgotten what "HUMOR" is. (I couldn't believe that I have not blogged for 7 days!) Sometimes, I really need to take my mind off work, and chill.

Lots of hugs and kisses for you guys. I have missed you all.


I drink a lot of liquid when I'm at work. Either Coffee, Tea, or one of those bottle Energy Drinks with "Would you date a stripper?" written underneath the cap. It helps me keeping my focus with my work, and also keeps me awake.

The result?

Well, I pee a lot.

So, one day, I had the need to release myself.

After I entered the Men's Room door, I heard voices echoing inside.

Two guys from the other department were having their pee-business-talk.

It would take a miracle for me to urinate next to them.

Without further delay, I ran for the stall.

I opened the door, and stepped in.

And I saw...

Totally not surprised. It usually takes two flushes for the company toilet to fully suck-down the sh*t. Whoever used this toilet, only flushed it once.

Mixing my own urine with other people's crap was something that never sparked my mind. I had to re-flush the toilet.

So I did.

Gracefully, I lift my good left leg and thrust it forward.

The yellow water in the bowl started to twirl. The brown tiny objects moved in circles as the toilet worked its magic.

I waited patiently for all the crap to go down.

Then all of the sudden...

I felt something wet on my face.

The wetness increased. It covered more range with greater speed.

The flushing action must have been too hardcore for the soft tiny craps in the water.

The F**KIN' toilet water was spewing out from the bowl as the toilet bowl-suction did its job.

I panicked.

I stepped back.

My mind went blank.

I stood motion-less.

Tried to recover from the shock.

What just happened?

What's the stuff on my face?

Did it get on my shirt?

Was it raining?

Where am I?

What was I doing?


Then everything linked together. Toilet, Water, Yellow, Crap, Me, in front of the toilet, and Wet.

My body trembled as I came to the realization that I have sh*t water on my face.

Not just my face. Some of them got into my eye, my hair, and probably on my lips as well.


I wanted to scream.

But I couldn't. I didn't want anyone to find out what happened.

Oh, I heard Wayne uses sh*t water as toners.

Scary thoughts.

I got sh*t on my face.

I got sh*t on my face.

I got sh*t on my face.

I got sh*t all over my face.

I need to get out of here.

Gotta wash. yes. Gotta wash. Clean. Clean. Shower Shower. Bath. Bath.

No sh*t on my face.

No sh*t on my face.

Mommy, Help!!!!



I forced myself to clam down. I had to.

No one need to know what happened. And the best way, is to walk out of the stall like nothing ever happened.

And so I did.

With a confidant face, no one will ever suspect that I had sh*t-crap-pee water on my face.

I stepped out, went to the front.

The two men were gone.

Great. That was my cue.

I dashed for the sink, blast the water on full-power and was my face.




I pumped some soap in my hands.




I rinse my face with water.




I started to wash my hair.

I wasn't sure why I did that. Maybe I got used to washing my hair in public. Or that I really wanted to feel clean.

Shampooing my hair with cheap hand-soap was not much a problem. But rinsing hair was. Especially when dealing with the tiny sink.

There was no way that I can dip my head in the sink, under the running water.





I splashed water on my head.




I splashed more water on my head.




Oh sh*t, someone came in.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

I made up a pathetic lie.

Forced a smile on my face, grabbed a stack of hand towels and walk gracefully out of the Men's Room.

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